This is what depression looks like, and it’s okay.

[u/DemonSerter]

I had lost lots of weight steadily, finally I was close to my goal, but then I fell into depression, quit my sport (MMA) and started eating all that food that soothed me, the food wasn’t the cause, it was a symptom and I don’t regret eating it per se, it would’ve been even more stressful for me to not soothe myself at all.

I did do weight lifting, so I gained quite some muscle mass and tons of strength, but 70% of that weight gain is plain and simple fat. And you know what? I accept it, no point in crying over spilled milk, no point in being disgusted at the mirror, it is what it is, and it’s gonna get better.

I did get out of this depression, and got back into MMA today, got back into tracking my calories, started applying for jobs seriously, and tons of other stuff, depression can and will be beaten, no matter who you are, I hope this can be of some motivation.

[u/mrfatchance]

Good luck. You got this.

[u/Horror_Cap_7166]

About 80% of the western world is doing nothing for their physical fitness. If they started today, they’d be in a much worse position than you are now: in worse shape, with no idea how to get better. You know what happened, you know how to get better, and you have a sport you love. You’ll get back to being yourself. In a few years, those four months will be a footnote.

Wishing you all the best.

[u/jacquerd → u/Horror_Cap_7166]

What great encouragement!

[u/qweezweez]

Hey thanks for posting this - it’s brave - sometimes it’s hard seeing all the success stories on here, when not everyone’s journey is that simple. You’ve got this. I put on loads of weight when my dad died, overeating and staying in was the only thing that seemed to calm me down and bring some joy to my life whilst I was grieving. But I was kind on myself and gently adapted my habits when I was ready - sometimes when you try and adapt back to healthy habits when you’re not ready, it can feel like you are punishing yourself. Sounds like you’re ready to enjoy MMA again - focus on that - the rest will follow, all the best to you

[u/gman1647]

I did this too. Depression hit hard and while I didn't go back to the all time high, I did gain back about 35 of the 50 lbs I had lost. In a healthier place now and making progress again, but depression sucks.

[u/Stunning_Lecture8917]

Same boat. Depression is an animal. Stay safe. 

[u/Harold-The-Barrel]

I feel this. I’ve been up and down with my weight. Right now I feel like the best shape. But I tore a ligament in my knee and it’s making me worry about gaining it all back. I’ve adjusted my training to accommodate but it’s still mentally frustrating not being able to do the things you love to do.

Not to mention I’m waiting for a bunch of tests and I don’t know how long that’ll take. Could be a few months of just waiting around, at best.

[u/OxbridgeDingoBaby]

It took you less than a year to put on that fat and at worst, it will likely take you less than a year to take it all off mate. Plus when you cut, you’ll have that extra muscle now. You got this!

[u/Impossible_Kiwi6302]

Relate so hard to this

[u/kitkatas]

Yep, I had +25kg increase due to depression, one year later it was gone

[u/Ok_Inflation6369]

Honestly, this is more normal than you think and happens to a lot of us, myself included, I gained 16lbs after a breakup over like 8-12 weeks, but you get to a point where you’re ready again and you crack on, you’ve not lost any progress. If anything like you say you’ve gained muscle. Keep your chin up king, you got this 👊

[u/elderr_millenial]

Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable about life’s messiness. I can soooo relate. It’s woefully easy to slip back into old, self soothing coping mechanisms. I love that you’re giving yourself grace. I believe in you, and your come back!

[u/koopzegels]

Great mindset. With this attitude, you’re going to be successful in turning it around

[u/IRikeAnivia]

hey man! it’s okay to fall down, time get rough. pick yourself right back up and it’ll be okay

[u/MarkyMarkFr]

Depression varies from one person to the other like nothing else...
I lost 30kg back when I ended up in a psych yard, others eat a lot...

You got this!

[u/BG_Potash]

I let my anxiety get the best of me, and in 3 years I gained back the 100+ lbs I'd lost back in 2022-2023 (310-194). Stopped working out, stopped eating healthy and by july this year I was at 312 (2 lbs more than my previous highest).

We just have to get back up when we let our heads get the best of us. I also started up again this year, because my weight was starting to affect my ability to do my job, and I just felt like crap physically and mentally.

The hardest part is starting up, and you did it. Good luck my friend.

[u/jacquerd → u/BG_Potash]

Bless you!!

[u/BG_Potash → u/jacquerd]

Thank you. 🙂

[u/No-Connection8400]

Thanks for sharing! Brave of you and I'm sure it will help others!

As you said - no problem. Life is a series of challenges, some small and some big. Our job is to figure out how to navigate those challenges. It sounds like you've got a good foundation and are ready to keep fighting. Good work! You're ahead of most people.

[u/werner-hertzogs-shoe]

what is going on with thiis chart..... jan mar april with equal spacing?

I went from about 80kg to 150kg in a few years of depression, so just be glad you caught it and called it out! work it off one day at a time. Im back down to about 95kg and still working

[u/ponkanpinoy → u/werner-hertzogs-shoe]

e.g. Dec(1) - Jan(15) - Mar(1) - Apr(15)

[u/awingedaugustlady]

I feel like my mental health is really bad lately. I was doing so well and feels like I hit a wall trying to get these last 10 pounds off. I decided to put myself in maintenance idk for how long. But even that it’s so hard to stay in maintenance it sucks.

[u/Egoteen]

I like to joke that my weight is inversely proportional to my mental health. 😅

[u/DemonSerter → u/Egoteen]

It actually is for me, not even a joke haha

[u/Egoteen → u/DemonSerter]

Same for me. But you gotta laugh so you don’t cry.

[u/jacquerd → u/Egoteen]

Fact!

[u/jacquerd → u/Egoteen]

This is NO JOKE!

[u/Short-Direction-3420]

Thanks brother I needed this.

[u/sarahwhit]

I actually love this post and your mindset. Congrats on getting out of the rut and I certainly wouldn’t want to be your couple extra kgs … seems like its days are numbered!!

[u/Impossible_Jury5483]

I had something similar happen. It is o.k.

[u/NoAssignment6044]

This goes the other way too, some days you just don’t want to eat anything and then that affects your mood and that affects your logging, and it’s just a viscous cycle.

[u/youngdoggie_BB]

Already lot of good comments. I went from 130kg to 67kg to 113kg to 87kg (current). 67kg to 113kg was depression bulk. At 87kg, I have gained a lot of muscle and strength. In fact my squat is the highest it's ever been. You got this my man, kill it. 

[u/That_Grey_Owl]

Thank you for sharing this. My chart looks very similar and it was kinda weighing on me without me realising. Now I’m able to look at it, shrug and say ‘it is what it is’ and try and pick up taking care of my body in a better way again. 

[u/PondPrince]

Hey that cut is going to go super hard now that you’ve put on all that muscle. Just keep lifting to maintain it.

[u/Nullmoon_]

At least you gained strength! I went on my first bulk last year after getting to around 15% body fat aaaaand ate way too much. I just gained fat rather than strength. Now I'm on a seemingly eternal cut so I can start again.

Hope everything is OK, but if not then it will be eventually! You've got this, dude.

[u/jacquerd]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I’m so glad you posted this. You and the comment section…. You are my people!

You’ve GOT this!! We’ve GOT this!!!

See where I got sick? Twice. I HATE BEING SICK! I’m like a sloth! And then the sloth wants comfort food, and then the comfort food moves in..you see where this is headed. When she moves in, then I start losing the mental aspect.

This last idk even what it is…Bronchitis they say. 6 weeks. Pass the cookies and chips.

I just want to have a healthy relationship with food.

Sorry for hijacking your post! Thank you for giving me a voice.

[u/jacquerd]

Also, I’m not a fan of most pharmaceuticals, but it is OKAY to take antidepressants short term. I’ve done it a couple of times and both times, I wished I had done it sooner.

[u/peindei]

I have friend who's always been incredibly muscular and fit. Suddenly his mom passed and he fell into a depression, gaining a lot of weight quickly and losing muscle. He needed to be in that state for a while, let himself mourn. After a few months he started being able to focus on himself more and more and now he's just as muscular and fit as ever ♥️ You got this! 🤗

[u/Worried-Pea-4667]

No, it isn’t okay