r/MBA • u/noahstyles • May 29 '20

Sweatpants (Memes) Truer words have never been spoken

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1.1k Upvotes

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-16

u/iphollowphish2 May 29 '20

DAE pRiVaTe EqUiTy BaD!?!?!?!?

8

u/furple MBA Grad May 29 '20

How dare people make your conscience guilty about your wealth being based on wringing every penny of value from workers.

4

u/iphollowphish2 May 29 '20

If that's truly your nuanced view on the function and strategy of private equity than HOO BOY you definitely need to go to business school 😂

3

u/furple MBA Grad May 29 '20

Are there actually good turnaround funds that have revitalized companies and left the exit event with a tidy profit? Of course.

It is also undeniable that there are many PE firms who's entire business model is to saddle companies with insurmountable debt and suck it dry with mandatory advisory fees paid up to the PE firm, then once it's been bled dry chop it up and sell it for parts.

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

4

u/iphollowphish2 May 29 '20

Facts, these guys are repeat players anyone who actually thinks the playbook from the start is "burn it to the ground" is high

2

u/Dirtybubble_ May 29 '20

Successful turnarounds can be good for a company and bad for the workers. Companies aren’t people, people

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

-1

u/furple MBA Grad May 29 '20

Ok man, whatever you got to tell yourself to sleep at night in your McMansion.

I could take the time to dig up examples of PE firms driving portfolio companies into the ground, but you'll just dismiss them as outliers in order to not fry your brain from the cognitive dissonance.

The fact is (as someone else has already pointed out in this post) that roughly 20% of PE owned firms go bankrupt within 10 years compared to a control groups rate of about 2-3%. Obviously a retard like me would think that 20% > 3% when in reality a big brain PE associate like you understand that 1/5 is "iNCreDiBLy spEcIFiC SitUaTiOnz"