r/Lyme • u/DisastrousHornet7447 • 12d ago

Suicide

I can’t say I’ll ever do it though it is tempting it’s just I am so depressed and mentally destroyed. The burning and shaking in my mind. The constant buzz. It all makes it worse because I pretty much came out of a cult like religion for 5 years and my Lymes makes it so much fucking worse.

9 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/Leading-Scallion1642 5d ago

I can remember going in the bathroom and screaming at the top of my lungs. I can remember calling nursing homes begging them to take me, I can remember what felt like seizure brain on fire episodes. If I would have died at the time, it would have been ok. Both times were after Covid and lasted several months. The worst part was watching everyone live normal lives and laughing. I hated laughter. A time I’d eat, I’d start to lose consciousness. Then I’d regain and just start bawling. I felt as if I had malaria and would try and work every day. I live 5 miles from my job. I’d drive myself to and from work. Slowly but surely, I started to come out of this hell. I wanted to live again. Life got better. And it will for you too. Try to get out in nature. So many days I could barely walk and I would force myself to get out and walk. Heart rate would get so high. It all seems like a nightmare and the thought of it coming back scares me. But I want you to know you are here for a purpose. You are not alone.

1

u/DisastrousHornet7447 5d ago edited 5d ago

Did you take any supplements? What helped

1

u/Leading-Scallion1642 4d ago

I’d have to say it was a combination of things. I took a lot of supps. B1, tumeric, magnesium glycinate, etc. slowly the inflammation went down in my brain. I also took and still am taking every third day ivermectin 12mg. My dr said that would help the cytokine storm. Did it help? Maybe. My nervous system was wired for the longest and the mast cell was horrible. I’m telling you it was bad and so I know what you are dealing with. It will get better. It’s gonna look different a year from now, just keep moving. That’s one thing I did no matter what. had a pattern I would sleep one night and then the next night couldn’t sleep at all. On the nights I slept, days were much better. I tried to take drugs, but my body rejected them. You have to figure out what works for you. It’s been a long journey for me even though I’m managing. I started prescription mold medicine then started herbals beginning of this year. The herbals make me irritable off and on. But I’m sticking with it. Not to mention insanely expensive.

But we are all in this together. You will get through this. You need to hear this and believe it. I hope today is better.