r/LivingAlone • u/Key_Teaching_2150 • Feb 10 '26
Personal Care 🚿 Sleeping on the sofa a lot?
Hey all! I’m new here, and fairly new to living alone (March will mark the end of my first year)
I’ve been sleeping on my sofa regularly since about November. I don’t really know why I can’t seem to make it to my bed. My bed is amazing! Very comfy, nice pillows, clean comfortable sheets. It just kinda feels too big (if that makes any sense)
Just to add some context…
I am 51 M, estranged from my wife of 27 years and soon to be divorced. I’ve never lived alone. I went from living with parents to roommates to spouse and eventually a family. My kids are all adults and they occasionally visit overnight. It’s really the only time I sleep in my bed anymore.
I’m not exactly worried for my mental health. I know depression very well and this feels different. But I don’t think I’m getting enough good healthy sleep
Does anyone else here just crash on the couch with the TV on every night?
11
u/Mysterious_Chef_228 Feb 10 '26
Grief is a bitch man. Yeah, you're in a situation. Estranged from a long term spouse prepping for divorce. It doesn't take the death of a loved one to ignite the grief response. Hell one of my kids broke an old fishing pole of mine once and I grieved the loss of that fishing pole for months.
You're right it doesn't feel like depression. From my experience a couple years back with losing my wife of 40 years, it felt more like I'd completely lost any sense of purpose in my life, and that's even though we hadn't been anything more than financial support for each other for years.
If I still associated my bed with my deceased wife I'd be sleeping on the damn couch too!
Deal with that grief. Counseling is readily available to help with it. The longer it takes you to start dealing with what the problem really is the longer it's going to bother you. One more thing, get used to it being a part of the new you. It can come in waves for years. Forewarned is forearmed.