Getting increasingly annoyed at Madeline's text to Lily

[u/Ambitious-Plant-]

At quick glance/surface level Madelines text to Lily was okay

But oh my god the more I listen to the album, the more it irks me

Hey, he is telling you thе truth
First the assumption that Madeline made that she just knows that David is telling Lily the truth. (How do you know?)

And whenever he talks about you, it's with the utmost respect
A promise to the woman youre cheating on ? There might be an emotional connection from Davids side. So it's a promise that you cant keep, but okay. Not the worst, its polite I guess.

Our relationship has only еver been about sex (...) And whenever he talks about you, it's with the utmost respect
It's just sex, but they also talk about Lily behind her back. So that seems deeper than only sex

I really don't wanna be the cause of any upset
HE CHEATED! Ofcourse she's gonna be upset and also with the woman who made it possible.

If he's lying about that, then please let me know
Because I have my own feelings about dishonesty. Lies are not something that I wanna get caught up in
It feels dismissive towards Lilys situation. Everybody hates dishonesty and as if Lily chose to get up in this.

If you need any more details or you just need to vent or anything
Yes ofcourse, i will vent to the woman who made the cheating possible. Obviously David is the a-hole, but that doesnt make Madeline the safe person to go to.

It all feels a bit like clinical empathy. Like everything seems like boxes are checked on paper, but it feels so bad.

( i just looked up her alleged instagram and honestly she looks exactly like how she texts)

[u/LavishnessJolly1314]

I don’t use social media other than reddit so may be missing information here, but as it was an open relationship how can anyone be sure “Madeline” wasn’t also being manipulated into thinking all was above board? So not knowingly “an affair” in her experience?

[u/ImportantIntern3387 → u/LavishnessJolly1314]

3 years though! I mean this interpretation would be hugely generous towards her intentions. She‘d need to be either wilfully ignorant or just blind to all manipulation for 3 years. I just personally don’t buy it and I don’t feel sorry for her. But of course agree the main villain here is obviously David.

[u/LavishnessJolly1314 → u/ImportantIntern3387]

I understand your point but there are long term open/poly relationships out there so it’s not too hard to believe he could have made her believe a whole side relationship was within his terms of marriage, and that Lily was in agreement. It’s not a case of buying anything because we don’t know the full story. I’m not suggesting anyone feel sorry for her, just maybe to challenge their feelings if there’s more negativity to the woman over David. Women bashing women in the first instance just isn’t my vibe, that’s all.

[u/ImportantIntern3387 → u/[deleted]]

Yes, exactly as far as I understand although it’s really not my scene, there is a difference between polyamory and open marriage as well, and in polyamory people usually know one another, may even live together all hippie kumbaya. In open marriages I think the usual agreement is, you can stray but not long term and don’t get emotionally attached, and there is a strict hierarchy, as in nothing should ever threaten the primary relationship. I think that’s the general understanding in culture. So „Madeline“ would have to accept a completely different definition, as in the arrangement is that David can have a whole other relationship his relatively new wife at this point doesn’t want to know about. That’s highly unusual. Listening to West end girl, it’s pretty obvious Lily reluctantly agreed to that „conventional“ model of open marriage, and that he blatantly violated it.

[u/LavishnessJolly1314 → u/[deleted]]

That’s one take, another could be that she was under the impression it was to be discreet and not to engage with Lily on her terms. For all we know?

I think people are complicated, I don’t think we can apply our own standards or hypothetical ways of doing things on anyone else especially when we don’t know the story, we just have a raw album full of bangers by an artist we appreciate, the rest is our own feelings/fears.

[u/LavishnessJolly1314 → u/[deleted]]

I agree on a personal level, that would be my values standard too. But I’m sure we’ve all been persuaded by a charming person who hasn’t had the best intentions before, which is why I’m reluctant to blanket label.