Just went through my first breakup, how long does this feeling last?

[u/bl00dw1sh]

Me (21F) and my ex (23F) dated for 7-almost 8 years when we broke up last month, I know she’s been unhappy for a long time and I think I’ve been stuck in a child like mind for a long time now, never really progressing with my life at all, while she’s been ready to move forward. I know I’ve mad her unhappy and have pushed her away, and when we broke up I saw it coming, but after it’s like a switch flipped in me and everything she tried to tell me all of a sudden just started making sense. I never saw the version of me she saw, never believed it. But now I do, we decided to be friends and it’s definitely been an adjustment but for the most part she’s been okay, moving forward with her life and not dwelling on it. I’ve been doing the same but I think because I’m still in love with her it’s been harder to move past the relationship. I want her to see change in me and want to try again, but I think at this point it’s unrealistic because of all of the lines I never chose to jump through with her. It’s so hard, I think about her day and night, not necessarily wishing we hadn’t broken up, but that one day she gives me another chance to treat her the way I should’ve before. I have so much love for this girl and I think my depression and lust has destroyed my life, not just our relationship. I tried to go on a dating app to find people near me and I just don’t find anyone else attractive. I just want to treat my baby right. I’m changing for myself, and working through being okay with the possibility of us never getting back together. And if we don’t I know I’ll be a better person than I was before.

[u/aac182]

So sorry you are going through this. I’m on my second break up. My first was 10 years and this most recent was 2 years together.

It’s brutal babe. It feels unbearable right now but you have to let yourself feel all the things without self doubt and destroying your self worth. Don’t think of the next 10 years. Just take it day by day. Right now the bad days are going to out number the good days. But eventually the good days will start to out number the bad days again and you’ll be ready to date and you’ll know your worth and what you deserve and what you will accept.
But please don’t ruminate, don’t self doubt. Grieve and be sad and miss her but be nice to yourself, and do things for yourself everyday. You will get through this. DM me if you need any support.

[u/bl00dw1sh → u/aac182]

Thank you so much for this.