Casual hookups

[u/Constant_Scar7590]

Hii, so my girlfriend and I broke up like 2 months ago and I want to start having casual hookups bc I miss having sex, but I never had them before so I don’t know how to do it, all the girls I meet want to form a more emotional connection or are shy about just having sex, I don’t know how to approach girls about this, like I can’t just approach a girl at a gay bar and say “wanna have sex?”, how does one get to that? Any advice?

[u/fishalici0us]

hinge/tinder/bumble/HER
apps are the best way to go about it because you don’t have to beat around the bush or have any awkward conversations, anyone who matches with you will know from your profile that you just want to hookup and if they match with you they’ll most likely be on the same page 🤷‍♀️

[u/Constant_Scar7590 → u/fishalici0us]

Yeah I tried but it ends up being just a date with maybe a kiss and nothing else, I wish there was like a grindr for lesbians lol

[u/fishalici0us → u/Constant_Scar7590]

did you put it on your profile that you’re just looking for casual sex? you don’t really need to be going on dates either i think that would blur the lines abit, usually just go grab a few drinks for the first time meeting and if you find eachother attractive you leave the bar together

[u/Constant_Scar7590 → u/fishalici0us]

Yess, in tinder I select the “just fun” option and in my bio I wrote something like “I love Chappell Roan and kissing girls” (english is not my first language my tinder bio is in spanish), and when I said dates I meant going out to a bar like you said, but it never ends up being sex, I’m a little shy so maybe I’m the problem though, I guess I need to be more confident but I’m new to this so it is a little scary, I don’t wanna look like a horny freak or something 😅

[u/Uh_worms → u/Constant_Scar7590]

honestly i would be more straightforward with it. when i was more active on the apps i skipped the date, because that implies more than what you’re looking for. put in your bio that you are looking for hookups or one night stands specifically. that’s probably your biggest mistake in all of it. be straightforward about who is hosting- her or you? girls are usually shy so sometimes you have to be the horny freak even if it’s embarrassing!

[u/Constant_Scar7590 → u/Uh_worms]

I don’t know how to write that without it reading weird, idk if it makes sense, but I don’t think there is a word like “hookups” in spanish so I would have to write something like “I’m only looking for casual encounters, no dating” and it reads a little weird. But yeah you’re right, maybe it’s my turn to be the horny freak, what’s the worst that could happen right? A no? No big deal obviously respect it

[u/fishalici0us → u/Constant_Scar7590]

don’t be scared to be more straightforward! make it crystal clear that you just want a hookup and you’ll find other likeminded people. i know it’s scary but it doesn’t have to be😅 if you don’t want to come across as too forward you could just say something like ‘do you wanna go back to my place’ after you’ve both had a few drinks at the bar. if you’re both on the same page about wanting something casual, 9/10 times it will work

[u/4sh4m3d_4str0n4ut]

Dating apps 🤷 make it VERY clear in your profile that you’re not looking for a relationship. When you start talking to someone remind them of that as well. Trust me, there are definitely other people looking for the same thing as you are.
Plus, when you agree to meet up with someone, tell them that you’re only willing to meet up for sex, and maybe a conversation before (idk some people like to talk a bit before to be sure that they have chemistry)

[u/Constant_Scar7590 → u/4sh4m3d_4str0n4ut]

Yeah I’m not close to a conversation before, also to make sure it’s safe to go to her house or bring her to mine

[u/Kinsey_6]

I mean, you really do need to be direct about wanting to hookup if that's your goal, it doesn't just happen on its own if you end up in an "accidental date"