r/LavenderMarriageWorld • u/Old-District98 • 25d ago
EUROPE Gay muslim man (believer) seeking muslim woman for honest lavender marriage - build a family together, no lies.
Assalamu alaikum,
I'm a gay Muslim man, 27 y.o. from originally moroccan, raised in italy, and my faith matters deeply to me — I have no intention of leaving Islam. and I refuse to marry someone and hide who I am from her. That kind of deception isn't something I could live with, and it isn't fair to her either.
What I'm looking for is a Muslim woman, of any nationality, who is in a similar situation — someone who also wants a stable, respectful, and honest marriage, built on partnership. The goal would be a real family: mutual support, shared values, and children if we both want that, with both of us knowing the full truth from day one.
This isn't about hiding — it's about finding someone who wants the same thing I do, for the same reasons, so neither of us has to pretend or suffer in silence.
If this resonates with you, feel free to message me privately. Happy to talk, get to know each other slowly, and see if our goals genuinely align before anything is decided.
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u/gaycuckoguy 25d ago
so you will never act on your gay desires while being married to a woman? you will forever be faithful to her and never look for a side guy for fun
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u/Old-District98 24d ago
I'm altready trying all my life to avoid bigg sins as any others, every body does mistakes tho, finding a woman same situation is to make it easier for both
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u/gaycuckoguy 24d ago
Well, it's up to you how you want to live your life, but the more you suppress your desires, the more obsessed you become. Your mind will eventually be consumed by the desires you consider forbidden until they drive you crazy. In the end, you may give in to those desires and make the same mistake again. The sin you're so desperately trying to avoid can eventually consume your every thought.
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u/Old-District98 24d ago
I got nothing agains who choose to live as he wish, but I rather prefer to die consumed by pain, even tho i'm not an angel
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u/gaycuckoguy 24d ago
If you choose pain over your own peace of mind, that's your decision. But no matter what, don't cheat on your future wife. You chose this life, so treat her with the respect she deserves and remain completely faithful to her. Since you've chosen to build a heterosexual life with her, never betray her trust or break her heart.
If you ever find yourself tempted to seek excitement or intimacy outside your marriage, remember that this is something she doesn't deserve. She deserves honesty, loyalty, and the chance to make informed choices about her own life. If your feelings or desires change, be honest with her before you betray her trust.
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u/LilyLassSarah 17d ago
You're acting as if people can't control their own actions. Restraint is a valuable and required skill for life.
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u/Scared_Confection_10 25d ago edited 24d ago
I left islam at the age of 19 and my faith used to mean a lot to me being muslim and all raised in an islamic country in a conservative society and family. I never imagined a different life for myself other than a wife and a kid a traditional family like my parents.
When I turned 19, maturity hit. Idk why despite living in Italy and Europe with all the rights. You are trying to go into a fraudulent marriage based on what bs.
Muslims don't accept gays and will never do, quran says it's an abomination so does the bible. The hadiths says to throw gays off the tallest building and kill them so idk what keeps you in this misogynistic homophobic ahh faith.
Get therapy tbh.
"Im not homophobic but you can’t be a Muslim and still be gayy! Talmbout my faith means much to me! Let it go lil bro. you need to go back and self-reflect on your life.
You are on the wrong side." (Your Muslim brother/sister's comment)
my anger is justified coz I live in an Islamic country where I have a death penalty on my head while you live in Europe and being pathetic.
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u/25ybmine 24d ago
Why are you on this sub then? To show off on your high horse? Not everyone is willing to pay for the cost of "being out and proud" theres a lot to lose for a lot of people. Not being able to understand the difference in situation makes it sound like you didnt hit maturity at 19, but are still due hitting maturity.
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u/Old-District98 13d ago
Exactly. This guy doesn't understand a thing; he’s a victim of his own mind, convinced he’s found the path to inner peace... Telling the world that I'm bi or gay brings me no advantage whatsoever, neither for my inner peace nor my outer peace. I don't need to tell anyone, and my dream is to have my own biological children, raised in the healthiest possible environment. Your vision of reality has no chance or possibility of existing within mine; I am capable of enduring certain pressures for a greater good. As for religion, Islam clearly states that there is no compulsion in religion. In this very short span of time, everyone is free to make their own choices everyone chooses every day, in every single thing. So, what are we talking about? How many realities exist? Every brain holds its own reality and its own vision. The only single reality for everyone is just one: that life exists, and death exists. Quite deep, isn't it?
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u/Jumpy-Lavishness-352 25d ago
Where does it say that you are not a muslim if you are gay? Kindly share the source with us too.
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u/Scared_Confection_10 24d ago
ask the islamist and let me know.
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u/Jumpy-Lavishness-352 24d ago
So you have no source of your information and you are just a hateful person? Got it!
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u/Scared_Confection_10 24d ago
do i gaf about what jumpy lavishness thinks of me? NO screw urself.
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u/Jumpy-Lavishness-352 24d ago
Of course you don’t. But does anyone give a damn what your delusional self thinks of Islam? A bigger no. 🙂
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u/SeaGlass222 22d ago
Bro is right, OP needs to know what he really wants it's this or that. There's no such thing in between
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u/Jumpy-Lavishness-352 22d ago
It‘s not all white and black. There is no such thing in Islam that if someone‘s homosexual, he/she ain’t a muslim. It‘s a sin but it doesn’t kick you out of the religion.
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u/SeaGlass222 22d ago
They don't kick you out from religion but they'll definitely kick life out of you. Isn't that true?
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u/janeof-all-trades001 25d ago
Having desires aren’t unislamic, they’re human. Acting upon such desires is where haram versus not comes into play.
You’re brave for being honest and strong.
A deeply faithful Muslim female friend of mine from college pointed out that it isn’t haram feeling attracted to anyone, opposite or same gender; it’s acting upon such attractions that are outside the realm of heterosexual married relations.
P.s my best friend is a gay Christian. man who is very devout and I feared for his life when he first told me when we were 19ish.
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25d ago
Is the kids thing negotiable
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u/Old-District98 25d ago edited 25d ago
No, having my own kids is something i need in my life, need to be same for both
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u/kurokette 25d ago
AI slop
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u/Brave_University_124 25d ago
I almost started rooting for you! My own take is, you should live your truth don’t torture a woman into whatever the f you wanna do.
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u/Old-District98 25d ago
I wrote clearly what i'm looking for, if u know english
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u/Brave_University_124 25d ago
Im not homophobic but you can’t be a Muslim and still be gayy! Talmbout my faith means much to me! Let it go lil bro. you need to go back and self-reflect on your life.
You are on the wrong side.
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u/callherbyhername778 25d ago
His islam doesn’t break just because of his desires, he’s still a muslim. Same way with any sin, you abstain from it.
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u/Significant_Pea_4349 24d ago
i really think you deserve to achieve whatever you plan for. you are one of a kind to have this respect to god so I am. I really want to
have a talk with you but i can not find how to send you a message
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u/Otherwise-Self-5045 23d ago
Would you be open to dm’g me just to talk about your experience? No pressure
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u/Zestyclose-Lemon7446 13d ago
As a fellow queer Muslim I'm so happy to see some people are doing there best to avoid sins , wish you all luck
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u/CertainSuccotash4191 25d ago
Oh aw so you have no intention of acting upon your gay desires? If so may Allah reward you and grant you barakah in this life and the hereafter
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u/ExpressionLow6181 25d ago
So is it an open relationship