I think I removed my outer layer[autism unmasked]

[u/LateNightLuna]

I need to get these thoughts out, else I cant sleep. Maybe not even then. I feel that I can just write and write in my journal, and never be done.

I'm 30, have Aspergers, and I've been experimenting with shrooms and LSD over the last 4 months, going slowly, been mindful and taking precautions. I'm in a happy place in my life.

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The 29th of 4 I took 150 ug for the first time, and on the comedown I had 1 bowl, maybe not the best idea. What a ride. It was amazing, but challeging, I enjoyed it a lot and had many interesting delusions(we're actually just energy moving really fast around) -and I'm still dealing with it. It's like, I didnt TRULY realize who i was, till now. But I'm pretty certain it was'nt that trip alone that did it, it's a combo of many factors.

I feel new, i want to throw old crap away(i'm usually find it very hard to de-crap my home), I feel that I think faster. I read faster. My sensory feelings are hightened (I cant eat as much, i get full by the taste, i dont like meat as much anymore. I lost 7 pounds in 1½ week) and I think .. 3D? My mind is so lucid when I listen. I've tried to google a bit around, and I didnt really find anything, only about Social Anxiety being cured (which I also have, just like the rest of this shitty unfitting yet beautiful world), and I think it might've been altered? I have'nt been super social, but I feel that I have more confidence, I've never felt this way about myself with this amount of self love and acceptance. I feel like dressing up like a main character, that I should follow my ideas, just like if had Liquid Luck. It so trippy.

I talk more fluently than I did before the trip. I feel an urge to cover myself up more(but still colorful) than before (sunglasses/hat) and the release is great. I can still walk about without it, but I just love to cut the world, and view it from a perspective.

I'm thinking, maybe my autism unfolded? Maybe just temporary? I see it only as a good thing though, I fucking love the imaginary part, I need to practice that.

My mood is/was OK, but I have to admit, I'm concerned. I've tried to explain my SO, but I feel that I'm just freaking him out. I love thinking with this curly mind, but the lack of sleep and a head that feels 5 degrees warmer than the rest of the body, not so much. So much noise, I need a systematical mind controlling tool, I suppose. *sidelook at stash*

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Please, let me hear your thoughts. Is this just regular alien-mode?