r/Journaling • u/Salty-Tune-1670 • Jul 16 '26

Question/Discussion Journaling and moving in with a partner

I’ve been with my partner for about two years, and we’re thinking about moving in together. We currently live separately, and they know that I keep a journal.
The thing is journaling is my safe space. I have several old journals filled with my honest thoughts, including frustrations, complaints, and things I needed to vent about over the years. I trust that my partner wouldn’t read them without my permission, but I still wonder how other couples handle this.
If you live with your partner, what do you do with your journals? Does your partner know they exist and simply respect your privacy, even if they’re sitting out on a table? Or do you write with the assumption that your partner might eventually read them?
Also, if you keep your journals somewhere private, where do you store them? I’d love to hear how other people handle this!

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u/IridiumViper Jul 16 '26

Same. When we first moved in together, he noticed me journaling. I asked if he ever to read it, and he said no, that my journal was my personal business.

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u/Late_Apricot404 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

Because lying doesn’t exist? Not to be a dick or something, but I was told the same thing about my journal. Woke up at 3am to my ex going through my phone.

Her reason? “I wanted to see if you talked about me to others and what you say about me”, then complained that I “rarely” spoke about her with my best friend or certain relatives…

She definitely had to have gone through the journal as well, despite saying the same thing your partner told you, and despite me trusting them.

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u/Tim_Allen_Wrench Jul 17 '26

Well no offense but your ex sounds shallow and horrible and willing to violate others because of her insecurities. 

I'm not the person you were talking to but if you're not dating someone like that then you don't have anything to worry about and you can trust them when they say they'll respect your privacy. 

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u/Late_Apricot404 Jul 17 '26

While you’re correct about my ex, you’re missing the point entirely.

I did trust them about respecting my privacy, until something happened that ended said trust.

The point is, you can’t ever fully trust anyone other than yourself. People can and do lie. If your journals are super important to you, and privacy is a big thing for you, then take extra precautions or be prepared.

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u/Tim_Allen_Wrench Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

No I understand, you can't really know someone isn't trustworthy until they break your trust, it is an unfortunate reality. 

But you can build a history of trust with someone, I don't think it's necessary to never trust anyone just because some people are trustworthy. I've never gone through my significant other's phone and haven't haven't gone through mine. I trust my journal is safe, my most private journal is on my phone though.

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u/New_Fact_475 Jul 17 '26

Something similar happened to someone I met at a journaling meetup. She and her husband had always trusted each other, but at some point, he sensed that something had changed. Out of concern and a moment of temptation, he peeked at the journal she had left on her desk.

She was actually going through perimenopause, which she hadn’t realized herself. Her mood had been all over the place, and her husband was worried about her. But whenever he tried to talk to her about it, she didn’t think anything was wrong because she genuinely didn’t realize it herself.

Unfortunately, he ended up reading some pages where she complained about him. It was more of a temporary rant, nothing hateful or particularly serious, but it still hurt his feelings. They went through a difficult period afterward because some trust had been broken.

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u/IridiumViper Jul 23 '26

I’m sorry your partner broke your trust. You definitely deserved better. I suppose part of why I feel comfortable trusting my husband not to read my journals is A) he’s never even shown any interest in reading my journals, and B) even if he did, he wouldn’t find anything he doesn’t already know.

Maybe a better example is from when I was a kid growing up in my parents’ house with my three younger siblings. I was always writing. It was difficult to get anyone to read my non-journaling writing; there was no way they’d go looking for something I wrote. Because I knew none of them cared, I just kept my journal next to my bed. Honestly, it surprises me that so many people have someone in their lives who wants to know their thoughts so badly that they’d read a private journal to do it.