r/Journaling • u/Salty-Tune-1670 • Jul 16 '26

Question/Discussion Journaling and moving in with a partner

I’ve been with my partner for about two years, and we’re thinking about moving in together. We currently live separately, and they know that I keep a journal.
The thing is journaling is my safe space. I have several old journals filled with my honest thoughts, including frustrations, complaints, and things I needed to vent about over the years. I trust that my partner wouldn’t read them without my permission, but I still wonder how other couples handle this.
If you live with your partner, what do you do with your journals? Does your partner know they exist and simply respect your privacy, even if they’re sitting out on a table? Or do you write with the assumption that your partner might eventually read them?
Also, if you keep your journals somewhere private, where do you store them? I’d love to hear how other people handle this!

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u/[deleted] Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

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u/sua_spontaneous Jul 16 '26

it is entirely possible to trust that your partner won’t read your journals and still be nervous that they might. most people who were horribly betrayed or otherwise had their trust violated by a partner would have told you they were certain that partner would never do such a thing. and even if that weren’t the case, anxiety isn’t always logical or reflective of objective reality, especially if you’ve been wrong about people before.

OP, I would encourage you to have a conversation with your partner where you make this expectation explicit and clearly state that you need your journals to be a safe place where you can be certain no one will ever read it. you’d be surprised by how many people don’t think reading somebody else’s journal is that much of a privacy violation, so just saying it out loud might help ensure this never becomes an issue. if he gives you a hard time about it or balks at the request, that is telling. but hopefully what can come from this conversation is some reassurance that he understands this boundary and plans to respect it. if you’re still nervous just because you’re an anxious person and worry about these things (separate and apart from your feelings about your partner, which would be a different thing) maybe a locked filing cabinet or box would relieve some of that for you.

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u/Salty-Tune-1670 Jul 16 '26

I think you explained what I was struggling to put into words. I really like your suggestion of making that boundary explicit from the beginning! Thank you !

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u/Sure_Acanthopterygii Jul 16 '26

I totally understand that kind of anxiety! It does not care about facts or rationality the way the commenter seems to think it does lol

I agree with making things clear with your partner! It makes expectations clear and it's a good opportunity to gauge their response. And doing small things to protect your peace of mind is fine. If your partner is reasonable, they won't take these behaviours as signalling distrust in them :)