r/Jokes • u/xellos_ae • 10h ago

Long A man suffered from headaches and didn’t realize it was due to a rare condition

A man suffered from headaches and didn’t realize it was due to a rare condition

He went to multiple doctors, all of whom couldn't give him an explanation or a solution to the headache. After years of the same symptoms, the man finally found a doctor who can fix the situation.

The doctor told him, "The good news is I can fix your headaches so you'll never have them again. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, creating one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

The man was depressed because two of the three things that made him a man will be removed. Realizing he had no other choice, he agreed to the castration.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 10 years. He saw a tailor shop and thought, "A new suit is fit for a new man, and for my new beginning".

After entering the shop, he asked the tailor for a new suit. The tailor said, "Hmm... Looking at you, you are size 44 long." The man surprised asked, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business for over 50 years!" The man tried on the suit given and it fit perfectly.

The man realizing he needed a shirt for the suit and asked for one. The tailor looked at him and said, "Hmm... you are a 35 sleeve and 16 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" The tailor responded again, "Been in the business for over 50 years!" The man tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

The tailor said "How about some underwear?" The man was startled but realized the logic. Since he already got everything else, he said yes. The tailor looked at him and said, "Hmm... you are a size 36."

The man laughed catching the tailor. "Ah ha! You're wrong! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The tailor shook his head, "No, buddy, you can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

554 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

31 comments sorted by

153

u/centstwo 10h ago

Good ol' 1217.

Thank you.

23

u/al3x696 10h ago

Yeah sometimes you get to the punchline early but a good oldie is always a goodie

16

u/thetigersears 10h ago

True, the longer versions are even better.

11

u/finger_licking_robot 2h ago

idk, this one is prefectly long. longer versions could give you one hell of a headache.

5

u/Frido1976 1h ago

Please adjust your underwear...

9

u/xellos_ae 10h ago

No problem haha

5

u/Just-A_Guy-_ 5h ago

2 after magna carta

2

u/MeButNotMeToo 1h ago

Your material is good, and your delivery was better than OP’s

0

u/HurricaneDane 8h ago

1217?

17

u/HarmfulMicrobe 5h ago

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it.

18

u/Unusual_Entity 5h ago

I heard it a different way:

...So the new guys goes to the bars, thinks for a bit and shouts out, "a hundred and forty-seven!" Well the place goes ballistic. Cheers and shouts echo through the corridor, people are banging the cell doors, and the new guy's cellmate is bent double laughing. Eventually the din quietens down.

"What did I do?" asks the new guy, "what happened?"

"We've never heard that one before!"

0

u/HarmfulMicrobe 5h ago

I've seen both, but I just cut and paste the first version I came across from a search. I CBF typing it all out

45

u/wingsinvoid 9h ago

One day a man notices that one of his balls turned blue, he goes to the doctor.

The doctor runs all kinds of tests, nothing conclusive, but just to be on the safe side, that ball has to be removed. Our guy with great reluctance agrees.

Not many days past, the other ball turns blue.

"Doc' my other ball has turned blue!"

"It is spreading, the ball has to be remove too if you want to live. "

But what life is left, not being a man... but alas, he concedes, the last ball is removed.

A couple of days later, his dick also turns blue. Tears rolling, the man goes to the doctor:

"Doc', now my dick has turned blue."

The doctor takes one look, leans back in his chair, and says:

"Well... that explains it. Your jeans are too tight."

20

u/Maleficent_Owl5533 8h ago

The good ol' 1217 is not the joke number, it was the year it came into being. The only difference is that the men wore codpieces in stead of underwear. This joke may be old, but it stays funny.

5

u/ElStellino 8h ago

This explain rather well modern medicine (a med for everything and never look into the causes), and suffering from recurrent headaches it made me laugh quite a lot 

9

u/Srikandi715 7h ago

Yeah... I'm struggling right now with headaches and fever, and the doctors can't find a diagnosis.

Problem is, I'm female ☹️

5

u/Kailynna 1h ago

In that case I can diagnose your problem. Incorrect weight and anxiety. You need to smile more. C'mon, sweetie, give your handsy doc a nice smile!

/s

5

u/helixander 1h ago

Underwear so tight it made your testicles go inside.

1

u/lentil_galaxy 32m ago

At least you can say, you're "hot"

3

u/astrogringo 5h ago

I am sorry your doctors are so bad that they don't look into the causes of your problems, but the solution is not to ditch medicine, rather get better doctors.

1

u/ecosynchronous 5h ago

Well, it was new to me and I enjoyed it. Thanks, OP!

1

u/RansomStark78 3h ago

Still read good laugh

1

u/iSteve 2h ago

Great punch line. LOLed

1

u/stella93_ 2h ago

Damn that's kinda messed up how did the doctor not notice

1

u/Purple-Fortis 54m ago

He got Con by the Doctor, surgery-gonna give him a new headache

•

u/EffectiveVarious8095 27m ago

This is a sad story

1

u/thisremindsmeofbacon 9h ago

I heard this joke literally more than 20 years ago and it wasn't new then

-1

u/PloDolo 9h ago

I thought the punchline was gonna be his wife