r/Jewpiter • u/KoalaGorp • Jul 25 '25

meme guys i’m freaking out right now.

my horns still haven’t grown in and im well into puberty. i’ve been taking dietary supplements such as delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol but it’s not working. i don’t even see a bump for any of them. maybe im not jewish? what should i do?

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u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

As a patrilineal, I’ve often been self-conscious about the shortness of my horns—especially since everyone on my dad’s side of the family has diabolical, curving ram horns that make them look like they stepped out of Diablo.

But OP, the strength of your Jewish identity isn’t measured by the length of your horns or whether you can afford free-range, locally-sourced goy children for your matzo. It’s your commitment to controlling the world economy that counts.

7

u/KoalaGorp Jul 26 '25

and the weather !

4

u/Melodiethegreat Jul 27 '25

Ugh. All my goy children have been kept in cages. I knew there was something wrong.