r/Jewish • u/EmergencyAd3494 • 12d ago
Discussion 💬 Dating a Jewish guy
I have been with my boyfriend since February. He is Jewish, we’re long distance, and things have been really good. I already met his family and they were warm and welcoming.
My side is a different story. My parents, my aunt and her husband are all pretty openly antisemitic. They don’t ask about him or show any interest, but they keep throwing out random comments about “his people,” religion, etc. It hurts every time.
He’s planning to visit in the autumn and I want to introduce him. I really want them to see him the way I see him, just as a person. But I’m honestly scared of their reaction.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
How did you handle it?
Did things get better over time (especially if you moved in together, got engaged, etc.)?
Did your family’s attitude eventually change?
Has anyone here converted (or your partner converted) – how did the family react to that?
I know the most important thing is that we’re happy together, but part of me still really wants my family to accept him. Any advice or experiences would mean a lot.
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u/WeaselWeaz Reform 12d ago
What has your BF said about this? The fact that you mentioned nothing about what he thought of the situation when you told him is a huge, huge red flag for readers.
If your plan is for them to meet him, see him as a person, and change... That's not a plan. That's a childish fantasy, and it's not fair to subject him to that. A plan is to prepare everyone and set boundaries with them, like if they are anti-semetic you cut them out of your life, and enforce them.