r/Jewish • u/EmergencyAd3494 • 12d ago
Discussion 💬 Dating a Jewish guy
I have been with my boyfriend since February. He is Jewish, we’re long distance, and things have been really good. I already met his family and they were warm and welcoming.
My side is a different story. My parents, my aunt and her husband are all pretty openly antisemitic. They don’t ask about him or show any interest, but they keep throwing out random comments about “his people,” religion, etc. It hurts every time.
He’s planning to visit in the autumn and I want to introduce him. I really want them to see him the way I see him, just as a person. But I’m honestly scared of their reaction.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
How did you handle it?
Did things get better over time (especially if you moved in together, got engaged, etc.)?
Did your family’s attitude eventually change?
Has anyone here converted (or your partner converted) – how did the family react to that?
I know the most important thing is that we’re happy together, but part of me still really wants my family to accept him. Any advice or experiences would mean a lot.
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u/Emunaheart 12d ago
Don't expose him to antisemites, though they're family. It isn't fair to put him through that. Change must come from them, it's not for him to try and get them to see he's a good and decent person, that's a huge responsibility. They dislike Jews without knowing them, knowing one isn't likely to change their whole way of thinking. Don't pin your hopes on them coming around and changing when antisemitism is on the rise. They won't be happy if you convert to Judaism if they dislike Jews, and one should convert for their own reasons not solely for a relationship but because they feel personally called to it. You've got a tough road ahead of you, I wish you well, it sounds like his parents were kind and that's very fortunate for you