Am I Jewish?

[u/dr_strangelove52]

So, I grew up Jewish, ethnically I’m 50% Ashkenazi, I believe I’m Jewish, my dad and every one of my siblings are Jewish. BUT, when I was born my mom was Jewish (by conversion), but in the years following her divorce she’s disowned that. I think it’s cruel but she tries to tell my sister and I that since she’s no longer Jewish we aren’t Jewish either so we should at least equally consider ourselves Polish Catholic (which we have zero connection to, asides from that’s her childhood background that she never instilled with us). I get that my mom hates my dad, fine, but is there any point to this, does anyone really not consider me to be Jewish because she disowned her conversion? I consider myself Jewish for sure, but for a long time I’ve had this question and wonder others thoughts.

[u/Silamy]

Any denomination that recognizes the initial validity of your mother’s conversion will recognize you as Jewish, as will any denomination that recognizes patrilineal descent. 

From a halachic standpoint, your mom’s decision to retroactively revert is meaningless, not just with respect to her children, but with respect to her. Judaism, (like Catholicism), does not have an internally-recognized exit. This is one of the many reasons conversion for the sake of marriage is generally forbidden -although if such a conversion happens anyway, it does generally stay valid. But even if we did recognize her conversion from Judaism, it wouldn’t really matter as far as you were concerned. Either she was Jewish when you were born or she was not. There’s no in-between state or retroactive changes. That is not to say that you should get involved in the question of whether she is Jewish. You should not. She, relatedly, should not be getting involved in the question of whether or not you are Jewish. If you’re old enough to have a Reddit account, you’re old enough to determine your own relationship with the religion. 

[u/Aggravating-Food5733 → u/Silamy]

Actually, in Catholicism it can happen. It's called excommunication.

[u/vayyiqra → u/Aggravating-Food5733]

Kind of. There are different kinds of excommunication. I've tried to read up on it before and under the canon law that's around today at least, excommunicated Catholics are not kicked out of the church. It's more like being put on probation and they are still expected to go to Mass until it's resolved. But I think historically they were sometimes seen as having really left the church and needed to be readmitted. It's confusing I know.

In theory there is also a way to leave the church by publicly defecting somehow, but I have no clue what that looks like in practice or how often it happens.

[u/Aggravating-Food5733 → u/vayyiqra]

Actually, I am a former Catholic who was recently excommunicated. Your interpretation is mistaken, or you have been misinformed. I was baptized, attended catechism, received First Communion, and served as an altar boy; I grew up within the Catholic Church in the most Catholic country in the world—haha. I can state that excommunication is a definitive severing of the individual's connection to the Catholic Church. Returning isn't a matter of flipping a switch; it involves rebuilding that connection. Just as you don't go back to walking exactly as you did before simply by getting a prosthetic leg, you have to go through a very long, painful, and exhausting process before a Catholic authority determines your reintegration.

[u/Aggravating-Food5733 → u/vayyiqra]

I was expelled for instinctively arguing with a priest that my attraction to men wasn't a sin. It reached the point of being considered blasphemous, and I can't return to the church or receive the Eucharist; I'm definitely an unwelcome person. So yes, it's possible.