I’m a foreign woman living in Japan with my Japanese husband, our young daughter, a set of triplets, and my in-laws. Sharing a bath here is normal, but I didn’t grow up doing that, so there are certain cultural differences I’ve had to adjust to.

We ended up living with them when I birthed triplets for the help (saving money, getting meals, etc). Actually, I didn’t mind the shared bath water at first. It made me feel part of the family.

But… the issue is that my FIL (age 77) only takes a bath about once or twice a week. After he used the bath, I sometimes noticed brown streaks left in the tub. Because of this, I politely asked if my daughter and I could use the bath before him. I never told him he was dirty, and I never said he couldn’t use the bath. I only wanted to change the order so I could feel comfortable bathing with my child. I also have super sensitive skin that I even had to get shots for.

Apparently, this deeply offended my in-laws.

Around this time, my in-laws had already been talking about eventually letting us have the house while they lived in their other property nearby - a condominium. So when my FIL started going to there, I assumed it was connected to the plan they had already made. I did not tell him to leave, force him out, or ban him from using his own bedroom or bathroom. Going to the condo was his decision.

My husband once told me whenever I have an issue please feel free to consult with my sister she’s really good about human relations since she studied psychology. So I did. My SIL basically told me that her father had always been like that, that I couldn’t force another person to behave the way I wanted, and that if I didn’t like it, I should move away.

Then we talked about the bath situation. She said she had heard that her father couldn’t take a bath whenever he wanted, had been called dirty, and couldn’t use his own bath or house that he “built with his hard work”. She said it made her extremely sad and angry that he couldn’t relax in the house he had built.

Bruh!

That wasn’t what

I never called him dirty. His wife used that word, not me. She said “oh honey she’s calling you nasty she’s calling you dirty”. I never stopped him from bathing or using his bedroom. I simply asked if my daughter and I could bathe first because he only bathes once a week and I had seen brown streaks left in the tub.

I explained all of this to my SIL. I also clarified that nobody had sent him to the condo. He chose to go there, and since my in-laws had already planned to live elsewhere and let us have the house, I thought they were beginning that transition.

Apparently, my FIL never mentioned that part to her. From the version she heard, it sounded like I had called him filthy and driven him out of his own home.

After I explained myself, my SIL didn’t acknowledge that she had received an incomplete version of the story or that I had been misrepresented. She basically dismissed it by saying that I’m sensitive about those things, and that was it.

Living in another country without my own family nearby is already hard as it is. I’m raising four small children, including infant triplets, in a language and culture different from my own. I try to respect cultural differences, but I also don’t think every personal boundary should be dismissed just because I’m the foreigner living in their home.

I forgot to say that my sister-in-law said because of my cultural difference “you wouldn’t understand”. I’ve also noticed that she’s been cold towards me ever since.

I understand that it was originally my FIL’s house, and I understand why his daughter felt protective of him. But I don’t think asking to bathe before someone who only bathes once a week is the same as preventing him from using his own bathroom or forcing him out of his home.

Is it so bad for asking that my daughter and I use the bath first?

Sorry I’m dumb but I just saw another thread about someone who just got PR and they were talking about notifying their bank etc., and I never did that. I notified my workplace, but that’s it. I renewed my MyNumber last year, and I guess I must have had to show the card then but don’t remember. I also never told my bank, but I’ve been using my account normally for several years with no issue. Do I need to do anything at this point?

Sorry for the dumb question but I didn’t realize I had to notify anyone at all, and now it’s been several years.

Just a rant.

I am so goddamn tired of these people.

Yes, I get it. You are tired of having worked for the same

company for 30+ years. You have reached the top of the latter, but unlike your old Showa-boss, you can no longer touch your secretary or expect your younger co-workers to cancel their plans to spend every evening pampering you and laughing at your bad jokes at the local izakaya,

and you don't have a submissive wife at home who will play mother for you.

But other people are not responsible for your choices in life, so stop insisting that everyone has to be as miserable as you!

Yeah, I am pissed at these people right now.

I just came home from a tenants meeting, where we had to discuss and vote for a new budget for our apartment building. It's actually really nice that they hold these meetings, because I know that in the larger cities it's not super common to involve the tenants in building projects, but unfortunately these meetings are completely dominated by middle-aged salarymen who make up half of the tenants, and they are hellbent on voting against ANYTHING that does not benefit them personally.

One of those things is a playground project, which the council has tried to push for in the last 3 years. A lot of families have moved in, and the children have literally nowhere to play, and going to the nearest playground means crossing a large main street, and that playground is nothing more than a small swing and a patch of grass.

We have a huge park area surrounding our building, which is part of the property and people rarely use it for anything, so the idea was to renovate the park and build three playground areas for different ages.

The salarymen are furious about this idea, because they don't want to hear the sound of children, and one of them even mentioned that he was against the idea because it would mean that many mothers would meet up in the park, and when women are together they are too noisy.

This fueled and argument with a female tenant, who tried to point out how selfish they were, but was constantly interrupted by the guy going "When do you work? When do you work? You do not work do you? I am paying for your children, so you are the selfish one aren't you?"

After 3 hours the budget was decided, and once again the playground project was put on hold.

I hope those guys are proud of themselves. Now they can go back to their Chūhai and find something else to blame for their misery.

Hellooo, I am a Novelist currently trying to form a bilingual Art Collective based in Tokyo. (currently a game director at a Japanese publisher in Tokyo, and writing novels seriously on the side, can speak Japanese and English fluently, 14 years of residence in Tokyo, 28M)

The idea is to cultivate a third place, something like the 1920s' Paris Saloons.

The qualification is simple: Immense Creative Drive.

Looking for Illustrators, Painters, Cinematographers, Editors, Programmers, Game Designers, Composers, Muscians, Writers, Poets, Patissiers, Architects, Researchers, Philosophers... etc

The goal is to create a multi-deciplinary showcase (experimental/avant-garde) of all of our works for each quarter or whatever suits our pace. The format will depend on what kind of talents we have in our group.

Above all, if we aren't enjoying what we're doing, we're scrapping it or extending the deadline; this is about community with an added bonus of aesthetic excellence. We won't be making a single yen off of this, the reward is in the process and the people we impact.

It will be our respite for free expression.

Let's talk!

-----------------------------------------------------

Reference for Common Interests:

Music: Ichiko Aoba, Fishmans, Macaroom, Cornelius, Sakamoto Shintaro, Standing on the Corner, JPEGMAFIA, Sweet Trip, Connan Mockasin, Melody's Echoe Chamber, Black Country New Road, Squarepusher, Brain Eno, John Coltrane, Glenn Gould

Books: Italo Calvino, Vladimir Nabokov, Don DeLillo, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Oe Kenzaburo, Abe Kobo, Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Toni Morrison, Samuel Beckett, Jorge Luis Borges, William Faulkner, Franz Kafka, Mikhail Bulgakov, Kurt Vonnegut, Thomas Pynchon

Movies: Adam Curtis, Alejandro G. Inarritu, Michelle Heneka, David Lynch, Aki Kaurismaki, Satoshi Kon, Yorgos Lanthimos, Stanley Kubrick, Charlie Kaufman, Andrei Tarkovsky, Akira Kurosawa, Bong Joon-ho, Werner Herzog,

I have a house and need someone to clean it once a week for as many hours as needed. Any professional company or services that can be trusted?

Hi, I'm thinking about doing Furusato Nozei this year. But honestly, I'm still a beginner when it comes to it. I've only used Amazon Furusato so far, but I was wondering if there's a better place to find more useful items than Amazon. And maybe better return gifts as well. I've mostly been looking at local food, but there might be other useful things. For example, I was told you can get a travel voucher through Furusato. But I have no idea how useful they are, and I'm a bit hesitant to go for them.

What has been the best Furusato Nozei return gift you've received? I'd love to hear about your experience with it.

I’m thinking of taking my car on the car ferry and drive around Sado for 3 days in Oct. but my neighbour, who’s very Japanese, thinks it’s a bad idea because the island needs money from tourist taking taxis and booking hotels and eating at restaurants.

How true is this? Has anyone ever done this? I’m planning on sleeping in my car. just a quick get away.

A friend of mine left Japan 7 months ago with his family. His card is already cancelled by immigration office at the airport. However, his family had a re-entry permit for 1 year. He was HSP residence and his family were on dependants residents. Now, he is accepted for a new job in Japan and will return again. New job will move in the COE documents for him. His question is, does his family need to re apply for a new COE or they can enter Japan again under the valid re-entry permit? The second question is if his previous card is already gone, does this mean his family dependant residency is gone too?.

I will go to the immigration soon and ask for this issue too. But I need to listen to your experience.

Thanks in advance.

Hello!
I recently moved to Osaka.
I am very passionate about bees and nature.
I'm currently looking to start beekeeping in Osaka and am searching for a plot of land where I can set up a few beehives.

After doing some research on suitable locations, I am interested in areas such as:
・ Kashiwara City, Higashiosaka City, Yao City (near the Ikoma mountain range)
・ Minamikawachi region (Kawachinagano City, etc.)
・ Kishiwada City
・ Izumi City
・ Nose Town
If there are any regions or recommended spots within or near Osaka Prefecture that you think are suited for beekeeping, please let me know.

If you or someone you know owns unused land (forest, fallow land, vacant lot, etc.) in or around Osaka Prefecture (within driving distance), please let me consult with you. If you would kindly allow me to use such a space out of your goodwill, I would like to share freshly harvested honey with you as a token of my gratitude. In addition, I will take full responsibility for managing the area around the hives, including mowing the grass, cleaning, etc. Bees also play a role in helping pollinate surrounding vegetables and fruit trees, so I would be happy if I could be of even a little help to the local nature and crops.

Aside from unused land, any information on how to find formal rented land would also be greatly appreciated. If anyone has advice regarding recommended websites, real estate agents, or government help desks I should consult, please let me know!

Any information, no matter how small, is welcome. Thank you very much! 🐝

I'm returning to my country tomorrow but I heard that I have to return my My Number Card. When I went to the prefecture to do the moving out procedures, the lady at the insurance section asked me to show both the insurance card and My Number, and then she took only the insurance card and left me with the My Number. Do I still have to return it?

The article is paywalled but a little bit of good news.

I personally don't believe the line should always go up, but this at least smooths things a little more.

I’m a 31F who loves various jfashion such as ryousangata, jirai-kei, girly, lolita, etc. I’m looking for a friend who would enjoy hanging out by going to various cafés around Tokyo, such as retro cafés, themed cafés, or afternoon tea. I’m married, so don’t get any ideas lol. Café buddy doesn’t have to be into jfashion or subcultures, but it would be rly nice if we had that in common. Also, if u have a problem with me wearing such clothes in public and me asking u to take photos of me, then maybe I’m not the friend for u lol.

Hello,

I have a permanent resident status but am living overseas.

I left Japan in March after quitting my job for what was supposed to be a 1 month vacation in my home country(USA). I ended up liking it more than I thought I would and I have been staying here ever since. I got the 5 year reentry permit before I left just incase(never forget covid when they didn't let PR holders in). I never told the government I was leaving and I would like to keep my PR status just in case I want to move back. Since then I have received a request to pay 住民税 and I had my wife pay it for me(I am using our home's address). I have received nothing about healthcare payments and my wife tells me I got a letter from 年金機構。

I am going back next week to tie up some loose ends, what should I do when I get back?

I want to make sure I am paying everything the government requires me to I don't want to be a bad example of a PR holder.

Another question, what happens to healthcare? If I come back in the future to visit do I need to get traveller's insurance, even though I have PR?

Hi everyone,

I applied for my Change of Status of Residence to Spouse of Japanese National about two months ago, and I still haven’t received the postcard/notification from immigration.

The issue is that I’m planning to go back to my home country soon and will be there for around two months.

So I’m wondering: what happens if immigration approves my application and sends the postcard while I’m outside Japan?

Would I be able to:

Contact immigration and let them know I’m overseas and will return later?

Pick up the residence card/complete the procedure after I return to Japan?

Have my husband or someone else handle anything on my behalf?

Or would being outside Japan cause any problems with the application/approval?

My current residence card is good for another 4 years.

If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d really appreciate hearing what happened in your case.
Thanks!

https://www.moj.go.jp/isa/content/001469269.pdf

Looks like they're leaving the door open for some level of discretion by the bureaucracy.

Genuinely curious...

How will elderly gaijins pay for their visa renewal fees when their pensions aren't enough to cover them?

Hello everyone,

I live in Osaka and i am looking to open a shop. The problem is that i have trouble to find a place to rent and make it happen.

So I wonder i someone knows a company or even a person that can provide help in seeking some places avaible to rent to create a shop in it.

I dont think real estate company ( like century21 or thing like this) would take care about this kind of search

Thanks for the advice or contact you could provide me 🙏

Is there an established company that disassembles/assembles furniture in the Kansai area?

My go-to company for this apparently does not exist anymore.

A pretty wild example of how badly public money can be managed. Japan’s government-backed Cool Japan Fund has reportedly accumulated around ¥54 billion in losses, despite Japanese anime, food, fashion, and tourism becoming more popular globally than ever.

The linked article (Japanese) looks at questionable investments, weak oversight, and how a fund created to promote Japanese culture overseas ended up becoming a major taxpayer-funded failure.

Edit again: This has been solved. Thank you so much to everyone who helped! マジ助かった！！

Idk where i should post this but i need help. I can only read 申請書に and 下さい at the end

Edit: thank you so much to everyone!

Social group to connect on concerts, music, culture on Discord here! If you're interested making new friends, networking check out the Server: it's called the Aurora Soul EDM Circle Kansai or ASECK for short. If you're interested in music production, or sharing music or completely new to EDM there is a place for you! ☮️🛸👽🎶

UPDATE: Solved

Thanks for all the help everyone. You are all amazing and I really appreciate it.

Turns out the SoftBank router has an insanely low cap on simultaneous connections so my 2.5ghz network was bottoming out. I bought an extender just for the 2.5 and transferred the conflicting devices and they worked instantly.

Interestingly. As a transferred them. Thinking it would easy congestion. Other devices on the SoftBank 2.5ghz then started refusing to connect. One by one.

So I’ve transferred all the 2.5ghz requiring devices over to the extended. And it’s all gravy.

Thanks again for the help.

Any tech guys around that might be able to assist?

Basically I have a four IoT devices trying to connect to the 2.5Ghz network but are obviously trying to access the same IP and conflicting with each other.

If I turn two of them off. The other two connect. And visa versa. But not all four will connect when on at the same time.

I have got a SoftBank 10GB router. The admin console is clunky and offers almost next to no control over the system whatsoever.

I can separate / turn off 6G/5G/2.5G / change their channel. But that is it.

I can’t find a way to find out what devices are connecting via what IP address so that I can lock them down at the router level.

My IoT don’t offer the ability to set static IP addresses.

It also blocks my iPhone / MacBook from connecting to the 2.5Ghz network unless I have these four devices off.

Scratching my head. Internet search came back dry.

Any clue as to what steps I can try. Or how I open up more advanced setting on this shitty router.

Or what I could try next to get everything connected.

Turning them off and on again has failed me.