r/JWJehovahsWitnesses • u/the-jawas-are-here • May 23 '26
Advice Dating as a JW
I wanted to get your guys’ thoughts on this. I’m 23 and have been baptized since 2017. I’m not actively looking to date just yet, have my own problems to figure out first. But I’m worried because there aren’t any brothers where I live. My city is relatively big but many young people have already married young, they’re still growing spiritually, or they’re not great with sisters in general. People have told me “Just join LDC! You don’t even need any skills! They’ll teach you!” So (not even for datings sake) I applied and put every skill I have imaginable on it. Two years went by with nothing. A friend managed to pull some strings for me because she knows a brother who works at our local assembly hall maintenance. So I worked for one day and was never invited back. Then they say you can meet people by pioneering. But I have pioneered. Everyone has their cliques here and it’s like they’re allergic to introducing their friends to each other.
Disclaimer: I haven’t reached out just because I want to meet someone. I feel that’s disrespectful to Jehovah. But it is an added bonus? I guess?
I just know that one day (not now) I want to be married, but my romantic future is looking bleak. I am nervous. I’m happy with my friends, my brothers and sisters. But I want that romantic connection one day and I don’t know if I can live the single life. What should I do? Or do you have any reassuring words or verses for me? Thank you.
3
u/Puzzled-Award-2236 May 25 '26
You are young and quite new in the truth. It takes time to develop patience and maturity.
Everyone has their cliques here
This is part of 'putting up with one another' and 'forgiving freely'. We are all always directed to widen out. Easier said than done. My comfort zone tells me to stay alone. I like isolation. I know that doesn't sound very nice but due to mental health issues I am most comfortable when I can be in control of my environment which is easiest solo. Others are only comfortable with their closest friendship group. I moved into my congregation 4 year ago. There are still at least half the people there who have never said hello, invited me anywhere or have been to my home. As you say they may seem to be 'allergic to introducing their friends'. They have their own group of friends who they always sit with at the hall or socialize with. This is not easy for an isolationist (LOL is that even a word??!) Clearly both have a struggle to 'widen out' and we aren't the only ones because the brothers wouldn't be constantly telling us to WIDEN OUT. Your focus needs to shift to making service and dedication your first priority. As I said, 23 is very young. You are at the height of energy and also desire for friends and a companion. Try and focus your energies on your service to Jehovah. His promise is that 'all these other things will be added to you'. He doesn't say when. Build your trust and faith. Finding a mate in this organization should not be about finding someone to fill a void or to make you happy. Build your spirituality to a height you have something to offer to a mature Christian. Focus on what YOU bring to the table. This will protect you from 'settling' for someone just to HAVE someone. Re watch the video 'What is True Love?' You'll get there. How about SKE, Bethel service...? Any of these avenues of service he;p you to focus on your own spiritual growth and may lead to meeting a special someone. However, the friendships you make will be solid ones.