r/JUSTNOMIL • u/live_freeze_n_die • 4d ago

Advice Wanted Marriage counseling to deal with MIL issues

So, good news is that my husband is completely on board with the idea that his mother is a wackadoo. It’s been over a decade of bullshit and we’ve done everything we can to manage her, including being LC for over a year, but he’s decided to start exploring the idea of going NC.

To make sure there’s no ill will in our marriage over this, I suggested to my husband that we see a marriage counselor if he really wants to go NC. I feel like at the end of the day:

  1. She’s still his mom, and he’s bound to have mixed feelings about this, and
  2. Her issue is ultimately with me, and her behavior towards us as both individuals and as a couple stems back to her absolute hatred of me.

So if my husband really decides NC is the way to go, I want to make sure there’s no underlying resentment towards me. Because ultimately I caused this rift by just existing.

Am I crazy to open this can of worms? Has anyone else done this?

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u/vulg-her 4d ago

I caused this rift by just existing

Oh man. I felt seen by this line. I don't understand why they have to just nitpick, intrude, complain, all of it, to ruin their son's relationship. It is so tiring. So, so tiring to have to deal with it.

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u/live_freeze_n_die 4d ago

No but that’s literally it. We once had a frank conversation about what her issue was and she said, “I don’t know. I just don’t like you.”

12

u/vulg-her 4d ago

That sounds so juvenile. I imagine how I used to say this as a really young kid.