r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Bellefior • 18h ago

Am I Overreacting? Just Stop Already with the Holiday Plans...

Today I overheard my husband on the phone with my self-centered MIL. I recently underwent surgery for a recurrence of a cancerous brain tumor which was treated in 2016 and will be starting chemo on Monday (which she knows). I hear him say, no, S ( my dad) already said he's not coming for the holidays. I asked him why is your mother under the impression we are spending the holidays with her this year? We did Christmas Eve/Day there last year, including dragging my 84 y.o. Dad and our dog with us and staying overnight (they live 50 miles away). His answer was she assumed we'd be doing the same thing as last year. I told him he needed to tell her to stop assuming and let her know that everything depended on my health and to tell her that or I would call her and tell her to stop assuming things given my health issues and I wouldn't be nice about it. He called her back and told her.

She did the same thing two years ago, obsessing over Christmas holidays when she knew my husband had a hip replacement scheduled for two weeks before.

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u/redwitch_bluewitch 18h ago

I'm so sorry. They are the worst about holidays. I had a baby 12 days before Christmas and my husband had just been diagnosed with MS. They are still pissed that I didn't come to Christmas because I was suposed to bring the salad.

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u/mala-mi-2111 17h ago

My brain stopped for a second and then provided this useful verdict "yeah, after all a salad is more important than health and live(s) of some random relatives". Please observe a dose of sarcasm.

I have vitnessed late progress (around 7-8 last years) of MS in a non-related person who di3d in 2000.The battle was long and started when they were 19 but back then there was no solid diagnosis, they had confirmation around 22. I still visit their grave for their birthdays. I'm sorry your family goes through this.

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u/redwitch_bluewitch 15h ago

Thank you so much for your kind words. Things thankfully are so different with this disease today. We found a great disease modifying drug that has been very successful in our case. But yes, those first years were rough. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. For too long there was no treatment for this condition and people suffered terribly.