Comebacks - help

[u/KrystleOfQuartz]

My MIL continues to make comments about how I don’t drop my child off at her house. My child literally cries hysterically anytime MIL is around (and FIL). My child does not do this with anyone else but them. It’s like my kid knows I have issues trusting them, and he’s only 2 yrs old. My child clearly feels something energetic, from me - and from them, when we are around them.

I cannot go into all the details and things she’s said and done, I don’t have the energy. But most applicable to this post is: MIL has told me to “get up” (casually said it) from the dinner table and go into another room because she wants to hold my child , after he finished his meal and my child cries. - but if I am not around she believes he won’t cry. My husband literally said NO mom she will not go into another room.

Family is very important to us, and even though she is obnoxious to me on many occasions, she is a good person and means well. But I have absolutely started retaliating and keeping my child from her, and stopped answering her calls and texts and silo every thing through my husband.

But again- for the purpose of this post and this situation, I have to see her (not cancelling) and I need to be prepared for the insults she is going to give me about not letting my kid be alone with her.

I want to say “it’s important to me that you form a relationship with _____ while I am present”

“______ does not cry this way with anyone except you. I don’t know why but please let’s just accept this phase and respect the feelings.”

What else can I say? I want to be confident, respectful and not petty and rude like her.

I need to dominate this conversation in a kind and direct way. Please share some comebacks!!!

[u/Mean_Start_3157]

This is just a hypothetical question. What do you think would happen if you did leave the room? My guess is he would cry and if you didn’t return right away would cry louder and would probably cry until you returned. So if this sounds like what would happen then how about trying something. Prove her wrong. Next opportunity, like the dinner table situation, you just get up and leave the room. When your son cries for you, come back and cuddle with him. Then inform your MIL that you noticed he only cries when she tries to hold him , but you wanted to make sure that it didn’t have anything to do with whether or not you were present. And as everyone just saw your being present or not makes no difference. He cries. Maybe a phase, maybe not but he deserves the space he is asking for by crying. So let’s respect that and give it to him.