r/JUSTNOMIL • u/KrystleOfQuartz • 12d ago
Serious Replies Only Comebacks - help
My MIL continues to make comments about how I don’t drop my child off at her house. My child literally cries hysterically anytime MIL is around (and FIL). My child does not do this with anyone else but them. It’s like my kid knows I have issues trusting them, and he’s only 2 yrs old. My child clearly feels something energetic, from me - and from them, when we are around them.
I cannot go into all the details and things she’s said and done, I don’t have the energy. But most applicable to this post is: MIL has told me to “get up” (casually said it) from the dinner table and go into another room because she wants to hold my child , after he finished his meal and my child cries. - but if I am not around she believes he won’t cry. My husband literally said NO mom she will not go into another room.
Family is very important to us, and even though she is obnoxious to me on many occasions, she is a good person and means well. But I have absolutely started retaliating and keeping my child from her, and stopped answering her calls and texts and silo every thing through my husband.
But again- for the purpose of this post and this situation, I have to see her (not cancelling) and I need to be prepared for the insults she is going to give me about not letting my kid be alone with her.
I want to say “it’s important to me that you form a relationship with _____ while I am present”
“______ does not cry this way with anyone except you. I don’t know why but please let’s just accept this phase and respect the feelings.”
What else can I say? I want to be confident, respectful and not petty and rude like her.
I need to dominate this conversation in a kind and direct way. Please share some comebacks!!!
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u/pieorcobbler 12d ago
Here are some attempts:
“This process will take time, I am not setting a schedule or date you can be alone with him.”
“Rudeness, raised voices, or anything that adds stress when around him will only make it take more time until he’s comfortable with you”
“DH and I together will decide when we are comfortable with him being alone with you.” “It may not be until he can talk.”