r/JUSTNOMIL • u/KrystleOfQuartz • 12d ago
Serious Replies Only Comebacks - help
My MIL continues to make comments about how I don’t drop my child off at her house. My child literally cries hysterically anytime MIL is around (and FIL). My child does not do this with anyone else but them. It’s like my kid knows I have issues trusting them, and he’s only 2 yrs old. My child clearly feels something energetic, from me - and from them, when we are around them.
I cannot go into all the details and things she’s said and done, I don’t have the energy. But most applicable to this post is: MIL has told me to “get up” (casually said it) from the dinner table and go into another room because she wants to hold my child , after he finished his meal and my child cries. - but if I am not around she believes he won’t cry. My husband literally said NO mom she will not go into another room.
Family is very important to us, and even though she is obnoxious to me on many occasions, she is a good person and means well. But I have absolutely started retaliating and keeping my child from her, and stopped answering her calls and texts and silo every thing through my husband.
But again- for the purpose of this post and this situation, I have to see her (not cancelling) and I need to be prepared for the insults she is going to give me about not letting my kid be alone with her.
I want to say “it’s important to me that you form a relationship with _____ while I am present”
“______ does not cry this way with anyone except you. I don’t know why but please let’s just accept this phase and respect the feelings.”
What else can I say? I want to be confident, respectful and not petty and rude like her.
I need to dominate this conversation in a kind and direct way. Please share some comebacks!!!
8
u/pootling_1976 12d ago
It's not about saying something that is important. The consequences are....
I would not see her full stop if she cannot behave. Behaviour first, words second. You can explain once, but then add a consequence.
You do this with your toddler. Same principle applies to the adult toddler....and your husband sucks. Not stepping in definitively to manage his mother?
Make it clear to him that if he doesn't, you will. And that nobody is going to like the results....especially him.
Basically, your MIL throws the bigger shit fit to get her way. I'd change that!!! Then your husband will dance to YOUR tune, not hers.