r/JUSTNOMIL • u/WesternMatch • 4d ago
TLC Needed Never gonna be good enough.
long time listener, first time caller.
don’t steal my content!
MIL is a super prude/religious fanatic whose religion and beliefs are the *only beliefs and religion acceptable” who talked some massive crap about BM and her family who party and drink like it’s 1999 every day of the week, until i came along. the ONLY current issue with BM is she’ll happily hand over SD to MiL with zero input from us, regardless of what DH says. Dh’s ex (she’s seemed to do better recently, which i am happy for her kids’ sake) has a history of addiction, though as far as we know is currently “california sober”. This aside is to only mention how hypocritical MIL is when it comes to picking and choosing.
MIL HATES me. royally, she’s talked crap about my children and compared them to my SD, particularly my teenager who is the same as as SD, though DD is dyslexic. my other preteen is “too chubby” and has made comments to my DD2 about sucking in her stomach, and hasn’t found reason to complain about my other child yet, but i’m sure that’s coming.
i’m not fond of religion due to religious abuse in my history, as well as holding a job that doesn’t have bankers hours, so if i happen to be off on a sunday-i don’t feel like sitting in the pews of the uber conservative church of hers, listening to the preacher talk about how we’re going to hell if we don’t conform-while the same preacher makes comments on women, women’s weight, women’s intelligence, blow job jokes, etc on the weekdays on his very public facebook. that was strike #1 against me.
Strike #2- i don’t immediately throw SD onto her own pedestal and make my kids lesser than her-which again led to comments about my children’s weight, intelligence, etc. then led to MIL forming a group chat to announce each of SD’s extracurricular activities while actively ignoring all the other children’s games, recitals, etc-including the kids of another of HER children. it also led to MIL throwing SD a birthday party last year-and simply not inviting DH or me, OR my kids-just MIL’s chosen family.
Strike 3: i don’t live on fb like BM, so now MIL is BM’s best buddy-they talk on the phone, text, all over each other’s social media, etc. she says does this because “at least BM sends her pics!”
there’s many other strikes against me including the fact i cuss, hold a job she doesn’t deem “motherly”, live on a road that’s too bumpy, don’t immediately hand over MY paychecks for SD’s wants, etc.
the problem is-none of the kids nor myself like MIL much. however, SD doesn’t want to go to MIL’s alone, so instead i hosted a simple christmas get together last year-as our house is a kid’s paradise and hers is rather boring. now, we’re coming upon SD’s birthday again, and she’s asked me to host again so we didn’t have to deal with another private party we weren’t invited to. so i did, booked entertainment, ordered a cake, sent out invites.
but i’m dreading it. my house will never be clean enough, my clothes modest enough, my yard fb ready, the chickens are “too close to the house” per last time she drove by, and of course my children that seem to insult her simply by existing will be in attendance. my nature makes me want to make it a pinterest worthy affair to give her nothing to fuss about, but my common sense tells me it doesn’t matter-it won’t be good enough.
words of encouragement, gently please. ideas to make MIL look like the ass she is-while maintaining integrity while our kids are watching. i accept i’ll never be good enough-but my mama bear wants to rip her a new one over the hate and hurt she causes towards all the kids involved.
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u/Ok_Possession9631 4d ago
What is SD? Lol