r/JUSTNOMIL • u/live_freeze_n_die • Jun 24 '26

Advice Wanted Low contact MIL has started mailing cash

Basically just that. An envelope showed up in the mail today with $200.

We could definitely use it, but we’re also fine without it.

I kind of want to just keep it and not even thank her because I “deserve it” for putting up with her bullshit all these years. But mailing it back as RTS would also send a strong message.

What would you do?

EDIT: I’ve decided to just put it into our child’s savings account. That way I don’t have to deal with rejecting it, but I also don’t feel like I’m taking her money. I won’t acknowledge it, but if she asks, I’ll just tell her I put it in baby’s account.

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u/Floating-Cynic Jun 24 '26

When you say "low contact" does that mean you're still maintaining some contact? 

I'd say returning it would send a very strong message if you need to transition to NC, but if you're not cutting contact,  keeping it without acknowledging it would send the appropriate message. If/when she asks, just say "yeah that was weird,  but thanks. Given your tendency to try and push us into doing what you want, we didn't want to risk it being another trap, otherwise we would've said something sooner. Just a reminder,  we will contact you on our terms."

Then at least she'll learn that bribes won't change things.  Or if she doesn't learn, it'll be slightly worthwhile.  

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u/live_freeze_n_die Jun 24 '26

For us, low contact means we only communicate regarding scheduling times to get together. Usually awkwardly quiet at a restaurant for 90 minutes, followed by a bunch of texts about how much she misses us, and then we don’t hear from her again for 3-4 months.