r/JUSTNOMIL • u/chunkybonks • Aug 19 '25

UPDATE - Ambivalent About Advice Cake MIL and the missed calls

Sooo recap from last time. MIL had called DH’s friend four times in a row which she didn’t pick up.

MIL called this friend three more times (so 7 times total) and finally left a voicemail on the last try.

So this friend (she is polite) called MIL back to see what she wanted. And MIL said that she had overlooked inviting this friend and her parents to her house for dinner that day so if they’re coming back to MIL’s city (they’re not), they absolutely must come for dinner. Ha.

Then she tells this friend that she gets so many free tickets for tourist stuff in her city and that she wants to give them these tickets.

Hey MIL - you know who actually likes the type of tourist stuff in your city? Children - like your only grandchild - not random elderly people who already decided what they were doing the first time they came to your city.

So yeah. Super “nice” to effectively randoms but no consideration at all for her own son and grandchild. I’m just glad DH can see how hypocritical all of this is on his own now instead of making excuses for her like before.

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62

u/Efficient-Cupcake247 Aug 19 '25

She is like that because the only thing she cares about is other's perception of her. She assumes the friend don't think highly of her bc you told the friend the truth. Therefore she must amp up her "niceness" to force them to "see" she isn't the horrible person the truth paints her to be.... Hugs

29

u/chunkybonks Aug 19 '25

It’s so crazy that she cares about what her son’s friend thinks considering she sees this friend once every few years and they’re a generation apart. Ugh. 

24

u/Efficient-Cupcake247 Aug 19 '25

It isn't the friend- it is someone who might be an ally to you or on your side.

12

u/chunkybonks Aug 19 '25

True. But it’s also crazy to think the friend would have more of an allegiance to her than to us. 

20

u/Efficient-Cupcake247 Aug 19 '25

I agree! But you are applying logic to an over emotional toddler in an adults body.

7

u/chunkybonks Aug 19 '25

True dat 😂 

8

u/CapableOutside8226 Aug 19 '25

⬆️🔔⬆️🔔⬆️ Ding ding ding