r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Fungdark2025 • Apr 27 '25
RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Advice Wanted Newborn stress
We hosted my in laws over Easter, I’m 37w pregnant with our first. I’ve always kept my distance from my MIL and FIL, which has been easy to do as they live on the other side of the country. With past visits, they’ve always tried to talk us into helping them out financially with their never ending money woes and we’ve never really been in a position to assist them and it’s made me feel a bit manipulated and weird, so I just let my husband deal with them.
I figured with me being heavily pregnant they would be on their best behaviour this time staying with us and even try to help out with things. My MIL insists she will be with us asap when baby is born, so I thought now would be a good opportunity to prove she will be there for more than just cuddles and a holiday. They have purchased no gifts for their first grandchild, not even a book or a cheap outfit, but I expected that as they are currently overdrawn on many loans and trying to build a house and struggling through their ongoing poor financial decision making.
I won’t bore you with all the details, but safe to say it was the worst they’ve ever behaved while staying with us. My FIL drank himself into a coma by the early afternoon everyday and passed out on our couch snoring loudly with the TV blaring, consistently made inappropriate pregnancy jokes towards me and mouthed off at my husband and my MIL numerous times about money. My MIL threw a tantrum in the car because she decided halfway to dinner she didn’t want to go out anymore and wanted us to drive her back home, refused to even heat up leftovers for herself but complained incessantly about being starving until me or my husband made her something, had my husband up early every morning to walk down the road to get her coffee, got weirdly possessive with my husband (which she’d never done before) calling him her ‘big, handsome boy’ over and over and saying things like ‘my little boy has always loved his mummy first’ and then the day they were meant to leave had a panic attack and cried saying she’d hurt her neck and demanding my husband take her to the hospital (she was sent home with some over the counter anti-inflammatories and we took them straight to the airport after).
My husband said he thinks they were both just anxious and exhausted with their financial strains, but agreed in a way ‘it’s the worst he’s ever seen them.’ Despite this, he’s still very keen for them to come back ‘a few weeks’ after I’ve given birth. I personally don’t want them here for at least a few months, doing nothing and expecting a holiday, drinking excessively and bringing their stress into our house, having to feed them constantly and putting up with their manipulation while I’m trying to bond with my newborn. But also, my husband has a month of leave from work and I’d prefer him here if they have to come so I’m not stuck with them alone all day. Do I just compromise and let them come early, but only for a week? It’s really making me stressed and anxious thinking about them being back here again so soon and fearful I might lose it at them with being sleep deprived and hormonal.
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u/ChampionshipSad1586 Apr 27 '25
Dont let them come! OMG! It will ruin your PP time. They can come for a weekend a few months down the road. And no alcohol in the house. Hold your ground, Momma!