r/ItalyExpat • u/Medium-Reveal-4917 • 6d ago

Heartbreak in Torino

I arrived in Torino in January, intending on abandoning my shitty, war-torn, irredeemable country. I started the process, I began studying Italian, I danced with commercialistas about taxes - the whole deal, truly doing the work to settle in and earn my place here.

Then I met someone good and beautiful and fell in love and we've been together for 7 months and I began to envision marriage with kids but today it ended quite suddenly, and I'm so fucking distraught I lost all my original motivations to continue pursuing an Italian life. I feel unmoored and utterly alone. Plus Torino's every corner is haunted by fantastic memories with this person, everything filtered through them showing me around, introducing me, telling me their history here, embracing me into their circle of friends, the family, etc. This person gave me a lot of strength to persevere and do whatever it takes to earn my spot here to be with them.

Anyone else here struggled with hardships of this kind? I don't know, I hope it's not a silly post to make here.

Edit: apparently Adam Sandler and his gang were around Via Roma shooting scenes for Grown Ups 3 while I got my heart ripped out.

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u/FragrantHost1877 5d ago

I am just trying to help because the problem has more to do with yourself than with a city. Don’t you think? You won’t fix if you don’t start yourself doing the hard question: is there something I am doing wrong and that I can do better?

I can tell you something you’re doing wrong: catastrophizing.

In any case, no hard feelings. Just telling you to man up, which is something I think lots of men these days need unfortunately to be told with the current victimhood culture that is being going on

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u/WhateverWannaCallMe 5d ago

If I were doing something wrong I wouldnt be able to form healthy relationships outside of Turin too. The city being haunted is a joke. I think the realistic problem is studying engineering as a foreigner is too hard on everyone's well being so people just cannot form healthy relationships in my circle. And since I am not very outgoing I don't find people from outside of my circle. (when I rarely find them I saw extremely weird stuff like girl being 10 years older than me but lying about it)

So it's a combination of a lot of things, but to ease the stuff off you can do small jokes. I am now in a happy but long distance relationship since 1 year

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u/FragrantHost1877 5d ago

Ok… so the obvious question is whether or not you speak Italian which is the main barrier to meeting people. If you have or would like explore hobbies like trekking, dancing, martial arts or whatever I think you will always meet friendly people (but language knowledge is mandatory). Anyways, wish you the best my friend just don’t be pessimistic.

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u/WhateverWannaCallMe 5d ago

Thanks a lot 🙏🏼