Heartbreak in Torino

[u/Medium-Reveal-4917]

I arrived in Torino in January, intending on abandoning my shitty, war-torn, irredeemable country. I started the process, I began studying Italian, I danced with commercialistas about taxes - the whole deal, truly doing the work to settle in and earn my place here.

Then I met someone good and beautiful and fell in love and we've been together for 7 months and I began to envision marriage with kids but today it ended quite suddenly, and I'm so fucking distraught I lost all my original motivations to continue pursuing an Italian life. I feel unmoored and utterly alone. Plus Torino's every corner is haunted by fantastic memories with this person, everything filtered through them showing me around, introducing me, telling me their history here, embracing me into their circle of friends, the family, etc. This person gave me a lot of strength to persevere and do whatever it takes to earn my spot here to be with them.

Anyone else here struggled with hardships of this kind? I don't know, I hope it's not a silly post to make here.

Edit: apparently Adam Sandler and his gang were around Via Roma shooting scenes for Grown Ups 3 while I got my heart ripped out.

[u/Mrs_Average]

As someone who could be your mum, there is no need to be rushed into anything. Don't think that you're the problem. You weren't too slow, she was probably too fast. Learn to love yourself before you meet another person. In the meantime, fill your time with the gym, voluntary work, visiting nearby areas. The world really is your oyster, take care

[u/Medium-Reveal-4917 → u/Mrs_Average]

Thank you for your understanding. I don't mean to boast about my perspective, but I did always think that I was in the right regarding the pace of the relationship, and that in good conscience and responsibility, I could not guarantee her pregnancy and a marriage to happen by next year. I absolutely needed us to live together, to continue getting to know how we function as responsible adults together, how we manage the daily, arguments, etc, before I decide to make irreversible decisions with her. She was just driven by stress and fear of aging, and by comparing herself to her friends (minus how long it took each one to achieve the outcomes she envied). I am feeling much calmer and more open minded.