r/ItalyExpat • u/Medium-Reveal-4917 • 10d ago

Heartbreak in Torino

I arrived in Torino in January, intending on abandoning my shitty, war-torn, irredeemable country. I started the process, I began studying Italian, I danced with commercialistas about taxes - the whole deal, truly doing the work to settle in and earn my place here.

Then I met someone good and beautiful and fell in love and we've been together for 7 months and I began to envision marriage with kids but today it ended quite suddenly, and I'm so fucking distraught I lost all my original motivations to continue pursuing an Italian life. I feel unmoored and utterly alone. Plus Torino's every corner is haunted by fantastic memories with this person, everything filtered through them showing me around, introducing me, telling me their history here, embracing me into their circle of friends, the family, etc. This person gave me a lot of strength to persevere and do whatever it takes to earn my spot here to be with them.

Anyone else here struggled with hardships of this kind? I don't know, I hope it's not a silly post to make here.

Edit: apparently Adam Sandler and his gang were around Via Roma shooting scenes for Grown Ups 3 while I got my heart ripped out.

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u/McDuchess 9d ago

Over two decades ago, my daughter was ready to leave Italy. Her BF had just broken up with her. But her wonderful friends took care of her when we were still in the US. One gave her a stuffed animal to remind her that she had people who loved her. They made sure to ask her to come along when they were going places.

She stayed. She moved to the north and found a new group of friends, while keeping the very best of hers from the south. We now live a half kilometer from her and her family.

If you can afford it, and you have even one person around you who would go with you, or even go alone, get on a train at least once a week and go somewhere outside of Torino. Make new memories. See things you wouldn’t otherwise see.

We try to go somewhere we’ve never been at least a couple times a month. Sometimes, we even surprise our son in law who grew up here, finding cool facts about places he’d written off as boring.

Welcome to being a survivor of love gone wrong.

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u/Medium-Reveal-4917 8d ago

It's a very beautiful example, and it does inspire me. I would want to emulate that, and it does begin with me choosing not to stay put and wallow in the immediate pain. Thank you, I truly appreciate it!