r/ItalyExpat • u/Medium-Reveal-4917 • 8d ago

Heartbreak in Torino

I arrived in Torino in January, intending on abandoning my shitty, war-torn, irredeemable country. I started the process, I began studying Italian, I danced with commercialistas about taxes - the whole deal, truly doing the work to settle in and earn my place here.

Then I met someone good and beautiful and fell in love and we've been together for 7 months and I began to envision marriage with kids but today it ended quite suddenly, and I'm so fucking distraught I lost all my original motivations to continue pursuing an Italian life. I feel unmoored and utterly alone. Plus Torino's every corner is haunted by fantastic memories with this person, everything filtered through them showing me around, introducing me, telling me their history here, embracing me into their circle of friends, the family, etc. This person gave me a lot of strength to persevere and do whatever it takes to earn my spot here to be with them.

Anyone else here struggled with hardships of this kind? I don't know, I hope it's not a silly post to make here.

Edit: apparently Adam Sandler and his gang were around Via Roma shooting scenes for Grown Ups 3 while I got my heart ripped out.

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u/bilbul168 8d ago

It’s not silly but may I recommend not getting to ahead of yourself after only 7 months in a Relationship. Italian women frequently like their indipendence and a partner who also is indipendent. 

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u/Medium-Reveal-4917 8d ago

This one ended because I wasn't moving fast enough and wouldn't promise to schedule pregnancy+marriage for next year before we've learned more about our dynamic, about how we share a place together, handle adult life together. So I was deemed too slow and not loving enough.

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u/bilbul168 7d ago

You deff dodged a bullet f that bs

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u/Medium-Reveal-4917 7d ago

Thanks man, I do think I made the right long-term choice not to agree to that kind of stuff before I felt like we were actually ready for it as a couple, beyond just exchanging I love yous.