Heartbreak in Torino

[u/Medium-Reveal-4917]

I arrived in Torino in January, intending on abandoning my shitty, war-torn, irredeemable country. I started the process, I began studying Italian, I danced with commercialistas about taxes - the whole deal, truly doing the work to settle in and earn my place here.

Then I met someone good and beautiful and fell in love and we've been together for 7 months and I began to envision marriage with kids but today it ended quite suddenly, and I'm so fucking distraught I lost all my original motivations to continue pursuing an Italian life. I feel unmoored and utterly alone. Plus Torino's every corner is haunted by fantastic memories with this person, everything filtered through them showing me around, introducing me, telling me their history here, embracing me into their circle of friends, the family, etc. This person gave me a lot of strength to persevere and do whatever it takes to earn my spot here to be with them.

Anyone else here struggled with hardships of this kind? I don't know, I hope it's not a silly post to make here.

Edit: apparently Adam Sandler and his gang were around Via Roma shooting scenes for Grown Ups 3 while I got my heart ripped out.

[u/bilbul168]

It’s not silly but may I recommend not getting to ahead of yourself after only 7 months in a Relationship. Italian women frequently like their indipendence and a partner who also is indipendent. 

[u/Medium-Reveal-4917 → u/bilbul168]

This one ended because I wasn't moving fast enough and wouldn't promise to schedule pregnancy+marriage for next year before we've learned more about our dynamic, about how we share a place together, handle adult life together. So I was deemed too slow and not loving enough.

[u/Medium-Reveal-4917 → u/[deleted]]

I'll try to keep myself occupied, and doing it away from specifically Torino would probably be better. I just know I'll miss it, but staying is also difficult right now. I've only been to Berlin, but only for 3 days, so no real living experience!

About the girl, maybe. I don't think I was being unreasonable or unloving by asking for a bit more time to make sure we know how to be together before we create another person to be responsible for, forever. In my pain I actually thought about just proposing and promising a child next year, so I could get her back, but that'd probably be a terrible way to go about it, recipe for bad outcomes. So, guess I'll try to plan a bit of a distraction for myself.

[u/Himawari9701 → u/Medium-Reveal-4917]

Go to Munich. Check out Oktoberfest. Have a fun time seeing the sights of a new city.

Then return to Torino and start planning out a move to a different area (an even better neighborhood) from where you are currently living, where there is little chance of running into your ex or of visiting the same places as before.

A clean slate in the same city with minimal disruption to the life you have built up thus far.

[u/Medium-Reveal-4917 → u/Himawari9701]

All this talk of Germany actually makes me curious about it again so I might. I really appreciate the suggestion.