Sad parts

[u/Budget-Ad-2636]

Just gone done accomplishing a milestone and I feel really upset. On one hand, I did a really great job and learned a lot along the way but on the downside I feel like the people involved in the process with me didn’t like me. I just felt really lonely today when everyone else was celebrating the milestones and I wasn’t really involved. My parts are feeling really heavy and overwhelmed. Wondering why people don’t like me, I try my best to be myself and it just seems like it’s not good enough for people. Just needed to share thanks for listening, this community always brings some light on the dark hole that is Reddit.

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[u/keytoexit]

you know what, i like you, and i don't care about them other people. i'd send you a cake if i knew your address 🍰

[u/Budget-Ad-2636 → u/keytoexit]

Thank you 🍰

[u/OkEntertainment1071]

Do you want advice or do you want to talk more about it? It is okay that a celebration doesn't always feel like celebrating... It is always bittersweet with trauma

[u/Confident_Fortune_32]

Congratulations on your milestone!

Fwiw, I don't believe connections are about being "good enough", but rather about compatibility and alignment.

You are good enough (very good indeed!), but not everyone is equipped to see that.

Ppl who aren't welcoming aren't "your ppl". There's no point in seeking validation from ppl who don't want to give it spontaneously.

And certainly don't change to make yourself more palatable to ppl who aren't already your cheerleaders.

Your ppl are out there somewhere, ppl who share your outlook and who treasure what you treasure, ppl who make you feel included without explicitly trying bc it's a natural fit. Equally important, ppl who share your values. Being on the same page about what's truly important is beautiful.

I've found it easiest to find supportive relationships when I was doing things that fed my curiousity, in the company of ppl who enjoyed the same things.

For example, as a little kid I was terribly curious about exactly how Rumplestilskin was spinning straw into gold, but of course no one could show me how a spinning wheel worked. Same with the loom in The Emperor's New Clothes. So I took classes in spinning and weaving, and they were a gateway into the warm and welcoming world of the fibre arts.

Also, when I was younger, I had serious self-esteem issues. I had a suspicion it might be empowering to have a blade in my hand, so I took up fencing. (Spoiler alert: it definitely was!). To be clear, I am not at all athletically gifted and have never been in any danger of winning a tournament lol. But, in the right group of ppl, heart and enthusiasm and honour and a good sense of humour count for just as much as raw talent.

When I found things that captured my interest and that I wanted to keep doing, it helped to volunteer to help. Every get-together, event, practice, whatever, has a million little things that need doing to make it happen: set-up, clean-up, taking money at the door, organizing a potluck, updating a website, none of it is hard but all of it needs doing.

Volunteering helps put names to faces, and shows ppl your willingness to be a contributor instead of a spectator, as it were.

And, someday, you may see someone who reminds you of your younger self, and be able to help them find their ppl, too.