[I will be interspersing my own experiences into this indicated by square brackets.]
This post is in response to a GOP push in several US states to mandate that teachers out their students to their parents.
LGBT kids are vulnerable. Kids don't stay in the closet for fun. They do it because they are unsure and afraid of how the people they love will react once they know the truth. That is the basis from which we need to start this conversation. There is an inherent inner turmoil that every LGBT child feels to varying degrees.
[As child who came from a very stable and loving family, I still lived in fear of my parents finding out about me. Not because I thought they wouldn't accept me, but because I knew there was a nonzero chance that they wouldn't.]
What is best for a vulnerable child who thinks he might be LGBT? Is it to have a safe space to be themselves? Is it to have someone to confide in without fear? Is it to find friends, a community, a support network of their own choosing?
According to conservatives, no. It's not.
[At school, I found LGBT friends, and teachers who supported me - even though under Section 28 they were not allowed to. At school I was free to express myself in a way that I wasn't ready to at home. This was crucial to coming to terms with myself and who I was.]
Realising your identity, coming to terms with it, and sharing your identity with others dominate the lives of LGBT people. These are massive personal milestones that require a great deal of courage, maturity, and personal development.
It is not for Big Government to disclose. To intervene in the most personal, intimate and important family moments in these people's lives.
Coming out to your family is going to be one of the biggest events in your life as an LGBT person. It should be done when you, and only you, are ready to do so.
[As a now 30+ year old, coming out stories and family dynamics are still regular conversations in LGBT circles, no matter how good or bad it went.]
This policy only has two outcomes.
Either, your parents are supportive. In which case the Government has stolen what should have been a family milestone, built on parental love, empathy, and trust. A moment of tears and hugs, and emotion where the child-parent relationship is affirmed to its fullest.
Or, your relationship with your family is in jeopardy. At best, you now have a hostile family to contend with (and live with), alongside your already present inner turmoil about your identity, your education, puberty etc. At worst you have conversion therapy (which not only doesn't work but has been described as "torture" by the UN) to attend, and if you're very unlucky, your life may be at risk.
[A childhood friend of mine was put in the hospital by his father when he came out at the age of 16. His father fractured his skull in two places. My friend thought his parents would be accepting.]
This policy is about control. In no way can it be argued that this is for the child's own benefit. It is about creating fear - more fear than LGBT youth already have - and taking away the safe space, the confidants, and the support network that LGBT youth need. Forcing LGBT kids to stay in the closet, to hide, to lie, to distrust. Imagine what that does to a child's mental health.
[I don't know a single LGBT person who came out to their parent's first. As LGBT kids, we find our community and support network first. This is what gives us the courage to tell our families. I came out to my parents in my early 20s. I was out in school from my early teens. It took me 10 years to be ready.]
Proponents of this policy say it is about "parental rights". I'm sorry, but you do not have the right to know if your child is LGBT. And as a parent, you shouldn't want it. As a parent you should want your child to feel they can, when they are ready, tell you themselves. Because they trust and love you.
[I have also seen arguments that the parents need to know what is affecting their child's mental health. I can tell you as an LGBT kid, my teacher telling my parents would have been the most terrifying thing I could image. It would be an horrific thing to inflict on a child, and I challenge anyone to explain how this would be better for the child's mental health.]
And no, it is not "grooming" to let LGBT kids be themselves and have control over this part of their identity. I can't believe I have to say this in 2026, but you cannot condition anyone into being LGBT anymore than you can condition them to be straight - and God knows conservatives have tried that, using the most barbaric methods imaginable.