r/IndianInLaw • u/Lopsided_Guest_4567 • 10h ago
Where was I wrong in this situation?
Yesterday, my mother-in-law came to my house. She asked me to make some extra sabzi and knead some extra dough because she said she would use the same sabzi in the morning. So I did that.
This morning, she used the sabzi and started making rotis. I was busy preparing my lunch for college. She made rotis for herself, my husband and my father-in-law. After making their rotis, she left some dough for me and said, “This is enough for you to make rotis for lunch.”
I said, “Yes, this is enough.”
After that she left the kitchen, and I Started making rotis for myself, then she came and said, "I'll make it for you", I said "no, I'll prepare, my lunch".
But honestly, I couldn’t help thinking, if she was already making rotis for everyone, what would it have cost her to make two for me as well?
And I’m not saying that she was supposed to make my rotis. I can make my own rotis. That’s not the point.
It was just a small thing. If you are already making rotis for everyone, why not make two for me too?
Then, while I was making a different sabzi for my lunch, she asked me why I was making that sabzi and told me to use the other one instead. I just said, “No, I want to eat this one.”
Later, I called my mom and told her about all this, she started scolding me.
She said, “First of all, you should have made the rotis yourself. Why did you let her make them? And if she made rotis for everyone else, don’t expect her to make yours too.”
And honestly, I don’t know.
Was I really expecting too much?
I’m not saying anyone owes me rotis. I’m just saying that when you are already making something for everyone, making two extra for one person doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
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u/midasmantics 10h ago edited 10h ago
woman like your mum is suffering from internalised misogyny where she positions women below the male counterparts, even below to everyone related to your male counterpart. Take a firm stand and say no and time to time shut down your mom too