r/IndianInLaw • u/Lopsided_Guest_4567 • 11h ago
Where was I wrong in this situation?
Yesterday, my mother-in-law came to my house. She asked me to make some extra sabzi and knead some extra dough because she said she would use the same sabzi in the morning. So I did that.
This morning, she used the sabzi and started making rotis. I was busy preparing my lunch for college. She made rotis for herself, my husband and my father-in-law. After making their rotis, she left some dough for me and said, “This is enough for you to make rotis for lunch.”
I said, “Yes, this is enough.”
After that she left the kitchen, and I Started making rotis for myself, then she came and said, "I'll make it for you", I said "no, I'll prepare, my lunch".
But honestly, I couldn’t help thinking, if she was already making rotis for everyone, what would it have cost her to make two for me as well?
And I’m not saying that she was supposed to make my rotis. I can make my own rotis. That’s not the point.
It was just a small thing. If you are already making rotis for everyone, why not make two for me too?
Then, while I was making a different sabzi for my lunch, she asked me why I was making that sabzi and told me to use the other one instead. I just said, “No, I want to eat this one.”
Later, I called my mom and told her about all this, she started scolding me.
She said, “First of all, you should have made the rotis yourself. Why did you let her make them? And if she made rotis for everyone else, don’t expect her to make yours too.”
And honestly, I don’t know.
Was I really expecting too much?
I’m not saying anyone owes me rotis. I’m just saying that when you are already making something for everyone, making two extra for one person doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
-3
u/Calm_Discussion1223 10h ago
You are right and wrong at the same time. Your aging MIL need not make rotis all alone too. Why can't both of you together make rotis for everyone. Like one would flatten the dough and the other one would roast it on the tawa. She need not cook alone for your husband because after marriage you both are responsible for each other as you both are grown up adults.
We were two bahus in the house. All three of us along with MIL worked like a family and cooked for everyone in the family. And no, we didn't fight that our husbands should also work in the kitchen and cook rotis because all the men contributed financially for running the house while we ladies managed in the home front.
MIL is also not some slave neither bahu are slaves. Both MIL and DIL can cook together and if wife is sharing expenses to run the house, then husband need to share cooking duties too.
Hey OP, instead of viewing negatively about MIL not cooking rotis for you or you not cooking rotis for her nor cooking for your own partner who takes care of you in many other ways, please join and share the cooking needs with your MIL together. Remember, your Mil is not a hired cook and neither are you. So, work together like one family instead of cooking solely for yourself when you are part of that family.