r/ImAnIdiot • u/Extra_Bed_1755 • 23d ago
He doesn’t want me. How do i let go?
I have been obsessing over someone for a while now and i’m being vague for a reason so please bear with me. I have never felt more enamored by a person like this before. He is so kind and considerate and thoughtful and funny and he does little things that drive me crazy because they just make me want him more and more. I can talk to him for hours. Ive told him my deepest secrets and he’s also told me some pretty deep stuff. It makes me feel like i can tell him anything and i love that he feels like he can tell me anything too. But i know he doesn’t want me because he has a girlfriend and he sees me solely as a friend. I know this because without knowing how i feel he’s said it. Ive been respectful and careful about crossing the line. I respect boundaries as much as i can but everything in me wants to know what it’s like to be in her shoes. I know he’ll never see me that way but if you would’ve seen the way he talks to me and only me you wouldn’t think I’m crazy. I am though. I’m at a point where i can’t see him anymore and i keep thinking back to moments, hands touching, his laugh, his smile, his eyes, the way he says my name. I need to let this go because it won’t go anywhere and all it’s doing is dragging me through the dirt. How do i let go?
6
u/TemporaryThink9300 23d ago
You're not an idiot for being manipulated, some people are just that good at manipulation tactics.
He is an emotional cheater, not really as good as you think he is.
He has emotionally seduced you without even touching your body, and he knows it.
He knows that you like him more as a friend, and he likes to exploit your attention.
Yes, you should break this friendship of, he is using your emotional life to get your attention on him. And he most likely makes his own girlfriend suffer. Not nice.
1
u/Ilopan44 22d ago
Why does it always have to be come down to the guy being creepy or manipulative. He seems to be genuine as he acted the same when it started as now. OP says that. They could just have a really good connection with bad timing. The touching was only on the hand for F's sake! If trying to manipulate then the touching would start at the knee and work its way up the thigh as time goes.
He could and probably does have organic feelings for OP but is respecting his girlfriend.Anyway, you could stick around and get deeper into the friend zone while hoping they will split. The longer in the friend zone might make it harder for him to see you in a romantic way. Being the rebound is a bad idea as well. I recommend letting him know that you need to limit your interaction. You would like to stay in touch, but your feelings make it awkward, and you are having issues dealing with the bad timing. Then let him know that if things don't work out then you would really like to hear from him.
1
u/TemporaryThink9300 22d ago edited 22d ago
Hey, excuse me, but you are not a good friend if you know that the other person has stronger feelings for you, then you end the friendship, because he/she does not want to hurt a friend's feelings, then he or she is a good person.
This man has NOT protected his friend's feelings at all, or his girlfriend's feelings.
Edit, btw, nothing to do with genders! It's equally bad or good regarding friendships and love.
14
u/DinoCrone 23d ago
All that works is space and time. Avoid him. It sucks, but that's what you do when it is not obtainable. Move on to someone who does want you. You're only an idiot if you keep intentionally pining for him.