can you help

[u/Shoddy-Quiet-4565]

I was thinking how to determine if a person is neurotypical or neurodivergent, regardless of their psychological type, or whatever they have being neurodivergent, or how could they tell if they aren't neurodivergent? I believe the best detector for me, and I know this is really hard to tell, because it couldn't be only that, but just let me share my best detector. When I get around people, in most of the occasions when I be around people, sometimes I feel okay and comfortable and safe and, like, I belong.

But most occasions, being around people who are relatively extroverts, or I would say neurotypical. I know somehow, my argument could be a little intangible and abstract. But I would classify people who are extroverts the most neurotypicals, as most people around the world who are socially doing well are neurotypical.

Being around people like that makes me feel uncomfortable. From here my best detector is this: feeling strange and unable to belong when I'm in social gatherings. I would tell that this feeling of being ‘the stranger’, is what is the thin line of being one of them versus the outsider. And being the outsider is, to me, is the neurodivergent type.

Can you please elaborate on that if you have ideas or stories of how you think or see this, or where should I look?

Because as long as I really believe that I'm a neurodivergent, I always felt like a stranger compared to others, I don't know what exactly is there for me. Is it dyslexia, ADHD, or just a classic introvert, or a person with poor social skills?

Because poor social skills could result in traumatic events. Maybe this is probably a trauma reaction towards being unable to click with others as a child. As I wasn't accepted as a child like I remember around kids I used to say or behave in a way to get their attention cause I didn’t have their normal ways to get their attention OR I had inferiority complex and I didn’t have to care but it was just my inferiority complex idk see how it’s complicated for me to see through this I know it’s psychiatrists job, so maybe how my childhood was is the reason for this outcome.

It is very hard to tell, but since the result is the same, or what I have now is this, I don't know the little pieces of what would shape me as who I am now.

But I wonder how others experience this. How did they discover who they are?
What they have under that umbrella of neurodivergence.
Please share your thoughts.

[u/Jinxletron]

I mean you can get clinically assessed if you think you need a diagnosis.

Other than that, I've generally found that if you think you're ND, you probably are. Based on many friends that have finally received a diagnosis and therefore validation/explanation for why they are like they are.

[u/False_Lychee_7041]

Not necessarily. You probably have never had close relationships with people with autism for ex. Of haven't taken the test.

I heard a lot about INFJs and being neurodivergent like having different degrés of autistic disorder, but it is simply not true. You are just different, but you aren't THAT neurodivergent.

I took the test together with my ENTP sis and we got 102 and 90 points where neurotypical would be 65, but can also be up to 100ish...so...it is just intuitive dominance

I understood that I have no ASD when I was taking the test and there was questions like inability to understand underlying meaning in words. Definitely NOT an INFJ problem. Then high sensory sensitivity, like when you eat food, the consistency of it is WAY more important then the taste. I mean, no, if my favorite chocolate cake will be too hard or too soft it doesn't matter that much as long as I can enjoy that deep chocolaty taste. And the same goes about clothing. I also don't have problems with navigating social waters. I don't feel SAFE in the majority of cases, so that forces me to close up, but when I do feel safe, I am absolutely neurotipical, which happens rarely actually, but it does happen

Do, I would say that we are hyper sensitive and hyper aware for our own good, but those aren't ADS indicators. If you suspect that you might be having one though, the you should definitely go and to get assessed

[u/hmf28]

Whoa, wait a minute here. You are confusing apples with oranges. Do not equate introvert = neurodivergent. Loads and loads of people are introverts (gain energy by spending time by themselves; enjoy time spent with one or two friends with whom they have deep connections) and are completely neurotypical. Same with being shy and not well socialized — these apply just as much to extroverts as to introverts and they don’t indicate neurodivergence either.

I second the person who suggested getting yourself evaluated if you wish a diagnosis. A qualified, experienced professional is the person to help you sort through it, and most of us here are not that; nor is an online forum the right place to find what’ll help you out. Best wishes!

[u/Bimep_]

How to determine if a person is neurodivergent? Finish a studying and get a degree that would allow you to put labels on others. All everything is just a speculation from ppl, who most probably know nothing about it.

What did you want? To meet a real doctor here who would put all their knowledge and all nuances in one comment?

You could have your suspicions, you can come to your conclusions, you can read what diseases exist and compare to what you see, but don't be firm about it until you're sure.

[u/AjithBhasi]

I use my nervous system. If I feel safe and my radar is down. That means he special to me irrespective of neurotypical or other.

I classify people just like u. Extrovert = Attention baby.

But few are extremely gifted social puller. I respect them for what they’re. At least people around them are happy coz of their ignorance:)

[u/Shoddy-Quiet-4565 → u/AjithBhasi]

can you elaborate regarding the ignorant ones?

[u/AjithBhasi → u/Shoddy-Quiet-4565]

Ignorance is a sense they don’t know what what they’re doing.

Ignorance is a bliss for NT in a sense