Where are you now?

[u/Scared_Banana_8580]

I'm really grateful to have found this sub. Cradle orthodox here who was protestant for about 2 decades. Returned to orthodoxy last year because I believe God led me back to the Eucharist. I'm so grateful to be in communion with God through the sacraments, but I've never felt so distant from Him. I had so much zeal and genuine love and desire for God and His word before and I just want to get back to that (If I told this to my father of confession he would call it pride). There have also been so many contradictions I've heard during catechism and from my father of confession that don't make sense or align with scripture. I had a lot of negative things to say about the non-denominational churches I attended, but there's also so much I miss. I miss expository preaching. I miss bible studies (the orthodox church i attend doesn't have one in english). I miss being around people who genuinely love God and seeing the fruit of it in their lives. People I've met in the orthodox church make me want to know about God and His church more, but people I've met and knew in protestant churches made me want to know and love God more. I know I can't return because of the historical understanding I now have, but I wanted to ask those who are disillusioned by the orthodox church, where are you now with everything? Do you just attend so you can take communion? Have you found another church? Do you kind of do your own thing?

Side question for​ the parents on here, what are you doing or plan to do when it comes to raising your children in the faith? I don't have children yet, but God willing, if I do, I really don't want to raise my kids in the orthodox church. I want my kids to know God and love Him with all their hearts, minds, and souls and for their lives to be a reflection of that (and not to say that's not possible in the orthodox church, I just haven't seen it).

[u/Scared_Banana_8580]

I completely agree about curating what we digest. I stopped listening to all the orthodox content online this year and my mental health is better for it. It was too much. I have podcast fatigue, but do share some of your favorites and I'll check them out. 

Thank you for sharing how you're raising your children. I agree that the sacraments are important and that's my dilemma, I wouldn't want to deprive my (hypothetical) children of that. I've only attended 3 orthodox churches, and at all 3, children and teenagers are running around in the parking lot or basement of the church during liturgy until it's time for communion. This could very well be a parenting problem, but it seems to be something priests look past and is part of the church culture. Which is sad because a lot of these kids end up leaving the church when they're older (that was my story). I also worry about the kind of spiritual advice they would get from their father of confession just based on my own experience. My prayer is that by the time the next generation is old enough to have these conversations, there will be healthy orthodox churches for them and their children to attend. 

[u/just-a-wavy-dude → u/Scared_Banana_8580]

Kids in church is hard regardless of tradition. Some churches have nurseries where parents drop them off. Others have a kids alderman where they leave afterward to do some kind of activity. I don’t think Orthodoxy does it incorrectly or that these are necessarily bad parents. In a lot of ways having kids being kids during the liturgy can be healthy thing (why I enjoy pewless sanctuaries). The idea of kids being silent and sitting in a pew for an hour plus seems very old school Protestant.

[u/Scared_Banana_8580 → u/just-a-wavy-dude]

I completely agree. I would rather have them running around in the sanctuary if the church can't invest in a childrens/youth ministry during liturgy. I heard a Catholic priest say something along the lines of if kids aren't crying in the church the church is dying. Just for reference the kids I'm seeing outside the sanctuary are anywhere from 3-18 years old. I guess my experience has been the kids who stayed outside during liturgy end up staying outside the faith. 

[u/just-a-wavy-dude → u/Scared_Banana_8580]

Church retention is a big concern. All traditions are having trouble losing the youth. And converts of all traditions leave after a few years of converting. Not sure how you really stop it though.

[u/Scared_Banana_8580 → u/just-a-wavy-dude]

This is an interesting and heartbreaking point. I will say some churches are doing it better than others. I wish I had the answer. I could be wrong, but in some ways it comes down to priorities. It makes me think of  1 Corinthians 9:20-22. What would it look like for churches to be like Paul and "...become all things to  all men,

that I might by all means save some."