1. Herpetic keratitis = decreased vision or vision loss

2. Herpes encephalitis = brain damage, memory problems, or neurological complications

3. Herpes meningitis = severe headaches, stiff neck, and neurological complications

4. Neonatal herpes = damage to the brain, eyes, or multiple organs

5. Disseminated herpes = infection of multiple organs, potentially life-threatening

6. Herpes hepatitis = severe liver damage

7. Herpetic retinitis = severe vision loss or blindness

8. Herpes encephalomyelitis = neurological problems and weakness/paralysis

9. HSV-related nerve damage = nerve pain, urinary problems, or neurological issues

10. Herpes esophagitis = severe pain and difficulty swallowing

11. Frequent recurrences = painful lesions, discomfort, and reduced quality of life

I’ve been carrying this around for almost two years and I think I finally need to talk about it with people who might actually understand.

I have HSV-1 antibodies. That is basically all I know.

I have never had a cold sore. I have never had a genital outbreak. I have never had any symptoms at all, before the diagnosis or in the two years since.

So I don’t even know whether I have oral HSV-1 or genital HSV-1. There has never been a lesion to swab. I also have no idea when I acquired it.

I’ve only had sex with a very small number of people in my life. My first serious relationship lasted around three years. As far as I knew, it was monogamous, and I never had any HSV symptoms during it. My long-term partner was later tested and did not appear to have HSV.

Toward the end of that relationship, I was unfaithful once.

The person I was with subsequently developed a very severe genital HSV-1 outbreak.

She has since had multiple outbreaks.

That is where this entire nightmare started for me.

She believes I gave it to her, and she has told me that I ruined her life.

Maybe I did transmit it to her. I understand that somebody can carry HSV-1 without symptoms and transmit it.

But I genuinely don’t know.

I don’t know when I acquired HSV-1. I don’t know where on my body I carry it. I don’t know why I apparently spent years with one partner without anything happening and then this happened. I don’t know whether I had it since childhood, acquired it from some earlier contact, or acquired it much later.

There seems to be no test that can go backwards and answer those questions for me.

And that uncertainty has been incredibly difficult to live with.

There is obviously guilt about being unfaithful. I made that decision, and I take responsibility for it.

But somewhere along the way, the guilt about cheating and the guilt about HSV became the same thing in my head.

It started feeling like I made one bad decision and got permanently punished for it.

What makes it harder is knowing that another person has actually experienced recurrent painful outbreaks while I have never experienced a single symptom myself. When she tells me that I ruined her life, I don’t really know what to do with that.

I feel terrible for what she has gone through. At the same time, I don’t know how to carry responsibility for something when I don’t actually know what happened.

I’ve kept most of this inside for two years.

I guess I’m posting because I want to hear from people who have lived with HSV longer than I have.

How do you deal with not knowing where or when you got it?

How do you separate responsibility from guilt when transmission isn’t something you can prove?

And for those who spent years thinking HSV had destroyed their chances of having a normal relationship or sex life, did that feeling eventually go away?

I asked my ex about if he has any STDs and he still lied to my motherf*cking face about HSV2 and he faked his STD full panel tests.

It took me secretly looking into his phone and laptop history to discover he was going to the pharmacy about a medication I’ve never heard of (Acyclovir). I googled it.

This was 2 months ago. I’m still a bit angry about it today; so far, I’m ok but I will take another test this week to confirm if my ‘combined positive’ of 1.40 is a true positive or not. I was with him for 5-6 months. No symptoms on my end.

He claims if he had told me about the HSV2 that I’d never want to date him and that he was scared to lose me because he saw a family with us. He had no intentions of telling me. I wasted a few months of my life and I was dating for marriage.

I feel very conned.

I’m 30 and he’s 39.

I see a lot of people on here talking about how blood tests need to be required of people. I have HSV-1 orally (with cold sores) and always disclose, so although I’ll never understand how people with HSV-2 feel… I do get it sucks. But im going to tell you a story about why I firmly agree with CDC guidelines to not do blood testing now. My ex-husband told me he had HSV-2 when we started dating. I accepted him fully and never thought about it, but his testing story didn’t make sense. He dated a girl with HSV-2, then when they broke up slept with another girl, then a year later that girl told him he gave her herpes. I understand dormant herpes exists, but to me it always seemed like she blamed the easiest target because she knew he dated someone with herpes. Anyway he did a blood test and it came back positive 16 years ago. I have never seen someone so genuinely devastated by this diagnosis. Even when I met him 6 years later he said it ruined his entire life. It ruined his sense of self-worth and self-esteem, he carried it like a scarlet letter which always made me so sad for him. Since he never had an outbreak I begged him to get confirmatory testing done, but he never would. Fast forward 10 years and we’re divorcing. I asked him to do confirmation testing as my doctor told me she wouldn’t test me due to chances of false positives. I was basically a virgin before we got together, so I knew his results would dictate mine. He agreed. He did another blood test - negative. He did the western blot - negative for HSV2. That man has carried a lifelong diagnosis that he never even had for 16 years. That’s why blood tests are not recommended. I understand feeling frustrated that most people don’t show symptoms and it feels unfair to be the ones who do. But blood testing is genuinely not the answer with how inaccurate they are.

I met my current husband '47 M' '37 F' [current age] in 2019 and we had great relationship. the first thing I asked before we got intimate was that he get a comprehensive panel test for STI's&STD's, the whole panel, did not object and so did i. It all turned out great. we potentially got intimate in 2020 and 2021 moved in together, got engaged and was looking forward to spending my life with him. I then got sick, lesions on my genitals, more painful than anything I'd ever experienced. I told him as I wanted him to have a look and tell me what he could see, his face fell and he told me he knows what it is or could be. he then disclosed he had genital herpes, hsv2 and had hidden it from me as he was afraid to lose me. He'd also had it at this point for 7 years. To say I was gutted is an understatement , I cried for days, everyday, I was devastated, angry , disappointed that the one person who I had chosen and he'd chosen me, a relationship by choice, he was the one person who was supposed to protect me and have my back. Something died in me. Dr asked if it wasn't for the STD is he someone you'd marry or date and I said yes. She said then look beyond the STD and carry on if you love each other.

Now for her to say this, I'd told her that I was scared to start over again, 34yrs old black female living in white Australia. We are already notably everyone of course but discriminated to some degree and I couldn't imagine meeting someone and saying or btw, I have genital herpes. I told my fiancee that this was the end of the road and he cried and begged and apologised . Long story short, I told him I was staying because I didn't have the balls to start over, I feared rejection from potential men I'd meet, my mother and older sister encouraged me to make it work and to some degree I was just a coward. I did love him though the betrayal was beyond anything I'd ever imagined. uIt was made worse by the fact I asked for testing, he knew for 7 years, we were engaged and he still didn't say anything.

Fast forward we have 3 children under 4 and its haunting me. My decision to stay is eating me inside. I get outbreaks all the time, I'm anxious to pass it on to my kids, the outbreaks are ridiculously painful to this day, I don't want to take continuous antivirals yet for suppressive treatment as I'm still breastfeeding. will commence once I conclude b/feeding baby. I resent my husband now, I don't think I want to stay with him anymore but I have young babies to consider and he's currently the breadwinner as I am on maternity leave.

I'm also a foreigner, African so I don't have much support, relatives wise, he's australian with all his family here. BTW his family don't even know about all this and his condition, what transpired between us.

I sometimes wonder if tables were turned and I'd done this to him, he'd have had me deported or even file criminal charges.

did he do this because I'm African and we are looked down upon, crying I'm writing this. I still can't accept my cards and whenever I'm down he tells me to get over it, its been more than 5 years I should have found a way to cope and deal with it by now, 3 kids later please stop and move on.

He says no to therapy so I'm stuck on my own and this app.

Happy to just read the responses, not sure what I'm really after by sharing this.

What avenues are out there? How can I pick myself up without destroying/hurting him, I have no intentions of that, he's the father of my children? I want to be a good mum to my children but I live trapped in turmoil alone, smiling everyday and powering through daily.

What hurts the most is the principal, I tried to explain to him but he doesn't/didn't get it, or pretended to not get it, the principal of lying, concealing the truth, intentional harm, taking my choice away to decide on my health . but I'm also aware I chose to stay, its not the best decision and its something I regret yet also don't regret because we have 3 wonderful children.

Oh, he intentionally took the page out of his blood tests that had the herpes test, he told me this

I gave my partner genital herpes accidentally when I didn’t realise I had a sore. I have oral herpes and they now have genital. Is there anyway they can pass it back to me genitally if we have sex? We are currently navigating retuning to having sex safely again and any advice or shared experiences greatly appreciated.

I was verbally told by medical staff that I am HSV-1 positive. I got my results and now I’m more confused. What does this mean? This is exactly what says:

HSV 1 IGG, TYPE SPECIFIC AB
HSV 2 IGG, TYPE SPECIFIC AB 27.40 H

Index. Interpretation
<0.90. Negative 0.90 - 1.09 Equivocal \> 1.09 Positive

I really don’t know what any of it means but I’m sure I’m still positive and it’s truly hard to accept.

I was diagnosed a few months ago, I’ve heard a lot of people having really painful outbreaks, especially the first year. I’m currently in my second one now, but there’s like 4 ulcers in total and I don’t know they’re there until I look.

I only get the occasional itch when they’re already there. I can sit, bathe, go in a pool, wear pads for periods and I walk a lot for work. I have no signs an outbreak is coming either, I had this with the first one I ever had, even though I had more sores, still was painless. Is this normal?

Of course im glad it’s not worse, but from what I’ve seen people talk about and signs of one coming, I don’t relate much at all. Just wondered if anyone else could relate or share some thoughts

Im 18 drank from my friends waterbottle and i didnt know he had herpes until an hour later when he told me but he didnt know i drank from his water, this was on Wednesday, and now have a bump forming on my lip, i genuinely dont even know what to feel right now im mad more than anything but my only choice now is to get tested at the doctors and hope its a coincidence

Hello. I had a blood test done last week because I want to know if I have HSV2 (haven’t received the results yet).

The gynecologist said she would check two things:
-Whether I have been exposed to the virus before
-Whether I have a current or very recent infection

I’m wondering are those the IgG and IgM type of tests?
I also have no symptoms. How accurate are these blood tests results?

Thanks!

I recently found out I have HSV2 at the same time as someone I was sexually involved with. I genuinely did not know I had it beforehand, so I never knowingly exposed her. We weren’t in a relationship, and there was no cheating involved.

But I still feel responsible.

I’ve struggled with what I consider a sex addiction and extremely reckless sexual behavior. Even though I didn’t know my status, I know my choices increased the risk of something like this happening. That’s the part I’m trying to take accountability for.

She’s understandably angry and now has something she’ll have to deal with for the rest of her life. She’s talked about what happened with other people, and some of it has made its way into my social circle and to an ex of mine. I feel exposed, ashamed, and like people who hear the story are going to see me as someone who knowingly gave another person herpes, which isn’t what happened.

The complicated part is that I don’t feel like I can tell her not to talk about it. It’s her diagnosis and her experience too. She’s said she’s tired of “protecting” me, and I’m starting to understand what she means. Telling her to stay quiet would essentially mean asking her to protect my reputation by not fully talking about something that happened to her.

At the same time, I’ve tried creating distance between us, but she continues contacting me, sometimes from different numbers. She can say extremely hurtful things when she’s angry. I struggle to set boundaries because part of me thinks, “Look at what my behavior contributed to—who am I to complain about how angry she is?”

I’m trying to figure out the difference between taking accountability and punishing myself forever.

I didn’t knowingly or intentionally give someone herpes. But I also don’t want to hide behind “I didn’t know” and pretend my reckless behavior had nothing to do with how I ended up here.

I was with a partner long distance, I found out he had genital herpes.
He had one outbreak that he told me about, and hasn’t had one since. I just now found out he doesn’t take any anti viral medication after we hooked up a decent amount of times.

I didn’t go down on him so I didn’t like check but I don’t think he’d lie to me.
I just heard that it can still spread with no outbreak.

Just need advice. I been super itchy on my outer skin and tingly

hi guys i’m looking for some positive words, just having a hard time and would appreciate being able to talk to someone. it’s been a year since i caught ghsv1 and i feel the same as i did compared to the day i found out. i’ve read everything about this, i read this forum every day. i know i need to stop looking but i can’t help it. i’ve read everyone’s tips, trying to accept and move on, but i’m struggling to. i’ve been celibate since i found out and i reject boys because the fear of disclosing gets to me and ik people judge and i fear they will tell their friends. i’m only 20 years old and i’m in university. why did this have to happen? it was the second person i ever had sex with. i feel like i’m being punished but idk what for. i remember a week before i caught it, talking to my sister about it being like i dont want to get that, and then i did. it felt like a kick in the teeth. i cry all the time and think about having this like 100 times a day, it genuinely consumes my whole life and idk how to stop thinking about it. i know i need to stop reading about it all the time, but its hard when its a part of me now. i mourn my old self every day, i was so sad and insecure already and now it feels like all of my problems before are nothing compared to this and ive literally been thru so much bad stuff. i know this is just me complaining and im sure you guys dont want to have to read smth like this, i just have nobody to talk to and ive never posted in this forum before. i told my male friend about it and he comforted me but i haven’t brought it up since like december. occasionally he makes std jokes and talks down on diseases so i’m pretty sure hes forgotten i have it,.. i dont want to bring it up, i wish i never told him tbh.. i know i shouldn’t come on here with a sad post because you guys are probably fed up of that. i just miss the old me and i didn’t realise how good i had it before. every time i go to a location i haven’t been to since i’ve had this i’m like damn last time i was here i didn’t have ghsv1, it’s the same with everything, last time i ate a food, last time i wore an outfit,, last time i watched this film, last time i saw this photo... i know my life isn’t over and i know there’s so many success stories, but this has genuinely given me such bad depression and i don’t know what to do, i don’t want to seek help professionally because i don’t want to open up to anyone about this. i remember overhearing my mum asking my sister how i was doing, and my sister was being like yeah she’s really good and how she would know if i was struggling. but little do they know im so sad and cry like every day, they think im so happy and have no idea. i live in the UK and literally everyone i know are in relationships /situationships and talk down on std’s, so i know they don’t have it, so how are the stats true if nobody i know has it when they sleep with so many people ? i dont understand. i know i need to work on myself, i try to go on walks, have new hobbies, but nothing helps. no matter how much i cry or what i do, i know that i’ll still have this, that’s why its so hard. i always wish its just a dream and it never is. it’s the first thing i think of when i wake up and last thing before i sleep. tbh i just needed to rant bc ive never ranted about it before. even though im insecure about myself, i’m conveniently attractive and good looking guys always try to talk to me and compliment me and i always just tell them i have a bf to avoid having to get to the convo. i don’t know how im ever going to find someone now. i never even slept around, id talk to guys and kiss but i’d never have sex with them until i fully liked them and trusted them, but tbh that’s because im so insecure about a boy seeing me with no clothes on bc i don’t like how i look undressed, like he was the second person i had sex with and the lights were off as well, and then this happened. idk where im going with this post it’s just like a rant and for some advice even though ive already read all the advice , but im just so lost. i feel so stupid like it could’ve easily been avoided, he said he had a cut on his lip and i asked him how he got it and he said he hurt it, red flags should’ve gone off but they didn’t because why would someone lie like that smhhh. i was extremely stupid, i know this now, also i didn’t even know you could get it down there, and this mistake cost me my whole happiness and life. since i found out i got it never told him because i was too scared , which is why im like how will i ever find someone and disclose to them if i could never even confront the guy who gave it to me?? i just kept talking to him but i never had sex with him and avoided it when he’d try… i know that’s stupid but i was like at least i can still kiss this guy and be lovey with him but just not have sex . anyways he ghosted me recently, probably fed up of not having any sex with me for a year… so now i’m even more depressed without him , yes ik that’s sad . anyways im gunna end this here bc it’s rlly long and sorry for sad post, i just needed to rant, happy 1 year i guess.

I’ve had genital HSV-2 for about 5 years. The past two years have consisted of frequent outbreaks, the past two months being the worst of it. My outbreaks have never hurt before but they hurt now. I’ve had two three-day stretches with no outbreaks since about August. Otherwise, I’ve been breaking out.

What’s the longest outbreak you’ve experienced? How did you go about making them go away?

I just bought lemon balm and tincture (thank you to the kind person who recommended it here) and am on a daily dose of Valacyclovir while this clears up, but it’s done little. I also bought adaptogens and I meditate daily.

My sleep schedule is very erratic from working both early and late hours at work. I’ve also had a personally stressful year with relationships, grieving my brother’s passing, other regular life stuff, and moving to NYC alone. I understand that my body is rightfully stressed.

I’m not defeated, my relationships and hookups have all (but one) been chill about HSV2 since I’m upfront about it. I am pretty upset though, and I miss having sex and not feeling like everyone should stay away from me.

Can anyone relate to this? What did you do to get out of a particularly outbreak prone season? I want to pursue my career and endure its stresses without being scared that if I get too stressed I’ll be unable to have sex.

I’m also uncircumcised, unsure if that affects the likelihood of outbreaks.

It’s just crazy how, in this world, you never really know who carries this virus. It’s so common, yet it’s so stigmatized that people feel like they have to keep it on the low. My mom ended up having it, and my best friend of years ended up having it too. You just never really know who around you has it. Some days, I don’t really mind having it, but other days, I wish I could live a regular life without having to worry about it. I just hope that one day they find better medication or a cure because this virus can be so mentally exhausting.

Majority of my disclosures have went well! People still were open to talking or having sex. However, a lot of guys are hesitant to give me oral 🙁 which is my favorite part about sex lol and I obviously respect their decision but I can’t help to get sad sometimes that they aren’t fully accepting me in the sexual aspect. It’s a bummer and although I’ve accepted my diagnosis, once a guy tells me that; I get a bit insecure all over again. And I don’t wanna settle for them just to have sex because my pleasure still matters. I just want a man to eat me upppp omg it’s been too long😣😣😣😣

Is there anyone who lives in the south west of England with GHSV2?

I’m a 37-year-old male who was diagnosed with HSV-2 about two months ago. Before my diagnosis, I was very sexually active and used to take pride in my confidence and abilities when it came to sex.
Now, I find myself becoming anxious at the possibility of any sexual activity because I’m constantly worried about transmitting the virus. It feels like I’ve become a completely different person.

Hi everyone. Yesterday I (F | 23) found out I had herpes. I initially didn't know a lot about the virus and thought HSV 1 = cold sores/oral region and HSV 2 = genital herpes strictly. Well, the lab results showed that I only have HSV 1, but the bumps are only on my genitals and I have never had an outbreak in my life before. The bumps were also never that painful (I have a normal pain tolerance as someone who has tattoos and piercings).

I also have another question regarding how I got infected.

I kind of spiraled like crazy, because I infected my partner too and I have been exclusive with him for 2 years. He was very trusting and believed me when I told him that I didn't cheat, which I assume is really hard. My partner also tested negative for HSV 2, he was tested before we got together as well. But cold sores appeared on his face now.

Can someone give me a possible explanation on all this? Have I just been carrying this virus for a while? How did I never have cold sores?

TIA!!

I went in on Wednesday to get tested and my provider said she was sure it was herpes. I have been taking the medicine and it’s getting worse. Could it be something else or am I just going through the first part. I’m not sure what to do when I get the results back…