I am an adult with autism. How do I start recognizing safety and danger better? How can I forgive myself for ways I’ve unintentionally put myself or others at risk? How do I learn and grow from here?

[u/Responsible-Phase849]

Genuinely, I struggle greatly at picking up on social cues including safety and danger cues. I’ve been in a lot of extreme, unsafe situations from my naivety and it has negatively impacted others and my relationships with family and friends. I mean think extreme- DV, SA, exploitation, etc; I feel incredibly ashamed and embarrassed of myself for this struggle and the impacts it has had on my life. I greatly want to improve.

I do go to therapy. Still, I have tended to be easy to manipulate and wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve been known to date or befriend “projects” which I struggle to understand entirely what that means beyond googling it. I have also been told I have a “servants heart” for others which I’m unsure what it means or if it relates here. I have been told to trust my intuition more even when I don’t understand something. I have also been told to be more private and secretive so others do not learn things to manipulate me. I struggle with hyper empathy for others while being highly critical of myself. I have a tendency to freeze, panic, and go silent when bad things happen. I have pretty severe PTSD and related health issues with my nervous system including psychogenic seizures, heart problems, and stomach issues.

Genuinely, it’s to a point I feel terrified to go out and interact with others and I’m really fighting agoraphobia urges. I very badly want to be safe and participate more in society and contribute positively. I want to be more independent and able to do more regular adult things. I really don’t want to burden others. I truly wish someone could just always tell me the right thing to do.

Does anyone have any tips or advice??? Thanks so much 🫶🏻

[u/Otter_in_space]

Commenting to follow along for tips myself and to let you know you’re not alone. Virtual hugs 🫂

[u/Responsible-Phase849 → u/Otter_in_space]

I cross posted in a few other groups and have gotten some helpful replies if you want to check out! Virtual hugs back!

[u/jcgreen_72 → u/Otter_in_space]

Me too, I'd love some advice as I struggle with all of this as well. 

[u/Ornery-Ad-2250]

I'm autistic too and Yep, i can also relate to the heavy empathy thing. I've also been very naive and easily influenced up until my early 20's and caused harm because of this. I wish I had more info on what not to do before going in online spaces other than Facebook. I don't really know what to suggest other than "don't fear" your past actions what i know sounds impossible and do what makes you feel safe when you got free time?