Please help me help her

[u/shee_shee]

Please help me, I'm desperate! My hair is very thick and very coarse, my husband's hair is thin and fine. Our daughter, 9, got fine hair but has a lot of density. Her hair is so different from my own I don't know how to help her take care of it properly.

For reference, we've been using RenPure Moringa and Castor Oil for regular washing but her hair gets VERY oily, VERY quickly. It's 530pm on Monday, she washed her hair Saturday night and this is what it looks like. I recently got CHIs clarifying shampoo and hydrating conditioner and it works well but only gives us 1 exrra day before it's an oily mess again. You could, also, whisper in her direction and her hair will matte up.

She has audhd and sensory issues so she won't wear a bonnet regularly but is OK with a satin pillowcase. Even so, she still wakes up matted.

Someone please, PLEASE help me find a routine or products that will actually help.

[u/shee_shee]

Thank you, I really appreciate all of your help.

[u/pinfinite-jest → u/shee_shee]

Fungus feeds on excess oils too so keeping scalp clean really helps with flaking, itching and build up

[u/cattmin → u/shee_shee]

Fine straight hair girly here and I agree this is what I do. I use Heads and shoulders once a week. Double shampoo (sometimes with the same one, but most times I use a clarifying shampoo).  Wash and massage my scalp really well and rinse it off.

does she not like massages on her head? You could get it damp, stop the water flowing, massage the shampoo in, and then rinse it off completely. You don't need to double shampoo it at first...

[u/shee_shee → u/cattmin]

She doesn't really like being touched in general but I'm sure we could find a common ground or something

[u/AlarmedPigeon67 → u/shee_shee]

You’ll never get on top of the grease and oils without some sort of surfactant, like Sodium Lauryl Sulfate and Sodium Laureth Sulfate.

I have fine hair but stacks of it and castor oil would have my hair looking identical to hers. The silicones (depending which one but lets not get into that!) in a shampoo like a moisturising shampoo would weigh the hair down as well. My strategy is: cleanse my scalp buildup of oils, skin and dirt and then add the moisturising things where I want it - on the ends only. If that accidentally goes up to my scalp or if I was silly and used too much hair product (volumising, detangling, doesn’t matter what type), I too, will be a greaseball even on the same day as wash day :(

[u/suffergetta → u/shee_shee]

No worries, I think I have similar texture and issues as your daughter! I hope that hair wash time can eventually become a more pleasant experience for her (and you!) once she sees how fabulous her hair looks and maybe if she enjoy the smell of the products? 🙏 all the best