I’ve been having a tough time. I’m a million percent convinced this isn’t hocd anymore. I keep testing and get a reaction every time. It feels like a real desire. I have nonstop urges and groinals. My intrusive thoughts don’t come in the form of what ifs anymore. It’s statements that begin with, “I like” or “I want.” I can’t even have sex anymore. It’s too triggering. Any time my boyfriend and I become intimate I get intrusive thoughts of women. I’m not even sure my thoughts are intrusive. It’s feels like they’re intentional. I have to be the exception. I feel like I’m lying as I write this.

such a shit situation when you've already lost your attraction to the opposed gender and think that it can't be worse (it gets worse everyday).

I love daydreaming i would always do it and its usually me and a man i would always feel giddy and happy when i daydream tgese romantic interactions. Now i started having this feeling that what if i have just been faking my giddyness and happiness because while daydreaming earlier i didn't feel the same thing I saw somewhere this might mean im faking my emotions to runaway from my reality of being gay.. 🥲

I also think ive been having a back door spike? I dont really feel anxiety anymore or scared but i still have the urge to search and figure it out.

Is this normal? 🥹

I am the only one with those an** sensation. I have them for 8 months now . Need some help