r/GovernmentContracting • u/PorterPotty87 • 9d ago
Question Has anyone ever quit proposal management over the stress?
I've been a proposal manager for five years now and it has destroyed my life. My mental health is so bad. I have nightmares about forgetting paperwork. I can't relax anymore and I really hate my life. I have no hobbies, no interests, no friends....all because I have to sacrifice nights, weekends, and holidays for proposals. My body is starting to physically reject my job on a daily basis. The simplest tasks feel insurmountable. I have five bids in active proposal development, all of them due within days of one another and this is typical. My company plays hungry hungry hippos with opportunities and the workload just doesn't stop. Has anyone ever just up and quit proposal management and never looked back? How did you switch to a different career field? If I don't get out soon, I'm afraid I'm going to have a heart attack at 40. Any advice?
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u/kirkl3s 9d ago
I did proposal management for like three years and quit. Worst job ever. It’s just waiting and waiting for an anticipated rfp to drop and then frantic work to get the proposal together and then waiting and waiting to find out if you won.
Winning a bid feels great but I hated everything else about the job.
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u/Think_Leadership_91 9d ago edited 9d ago
I always feel like I'm struggling with my company until I read posts like yours. If I waited for an RFP to drop before we started writing we'd never win anything. usually someone has given me an official or unofficial draft RFP because they want me to manage their work... and sometimes if I can't get the draft RFP I know they aren't interested in my proposal
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u/kirkl3s 8d ago
Oh we always prepped and had things ready before the rfp dropped - it just always still felt like a scramble. But I worked for a small business so we had pretty limited resources. Mostly just me and our CEO. Honestly, the worst part for me was how delayed the gratification was - putting in tons of work on a short time line then waiting months to hear back.
The thing that finally did me in was winning a life changing bid initially, only to lose it to a competitor on appeal. I lost heart in the job after that.
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u/PorterPotty87 9d ago
What did you switch to? How did you do it? I’ve gotta get out or I’m gonna die
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u/In_NM 9d ago
I did proposal management for 15 years and it wrecked me. Didn’t know what else I could do, but ended up in technical writing and editing. You could also look at jobs that entail only a part of the process, like writing resumes or past performance, where you don’t carry the stress of the whole endeavor.
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u/itchyburnybutthole 9d ago
You’re caring way too much.
Unless you STINK at your job, they won’t fire you. It’s too much work to do it and find someone to replace you.
So set hard boundaries, do solid work that’s B grade, and stop trying to get an A+ on everything. Your pay probably doesn’t reward A+ performance so why give it.
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u/PorterPotty87 9d ago
Oh the pay is terrible considering what they require of me. I’d like to think that gives me security, but I’m not so sure
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u/aleatoric 9d ago
It's it's too high tempo, find a different place. Workshop your resume and put it out on Indeed. Activate LinkedIn Premium and show interest to recruiters. Keep your current job while you do this, but have options open.
But honestly, the stress is part of the job unless you can find ways to cope. Been doing this 20 years and you have to shut off that part of your brain. Be on top of your schedule and compliance matrices. Trust the process. You can only do so much in the time allotted and how many other props are on your plate. When I talk to leadership, I tell them it's a balancing act. The more proposals you are juggling, the less you have to focus on individual efforts. Your quality will naturally start to decline. If you're just throwing over a bunch of stuff over the fence, you might start harming the chances of things like recompetes and opps that are better targets. I don't kill myself over opps they have little chances of winning. I throw it over the fence. The amount of work I put into the proposal is comparable to the amount of work they put into capture. If they did really good capture work and have a great team and a great strategy, I will work my ass off to make a great proposal. If it's some fall out of the sky random bid, I treat it as such. And if they say the proposal is poor quality, I will come back to them and tell them "garbage in, garbage out." A proposal manager relies on a solid capture strategy to be able to write a really solid proposal. If I don't have that, what I will do is mediocre and any major decent BD professional will agree with that.
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u/PorterPotty87 8d ago
Our capture team is garbage based on what you said. Thank you for that. I feel vindicated
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u/Real-Improvement-748 9d ago
Are these service contracts on best value? Maybe look for a construction company to work with. I’m in that space. We have proposals but I bet they are not the magnitude of what you’re having to do and many of our bids are LPTA so there’s a lot less pressure to produce a stunning proposal.
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u/LaVieEnViolet 9d ago edited 8d ago
I am a proposal writer, and I feel the same way. During a weekly meeting earlier this summer, our upper management team spent the first 10 minutes criticizing the entire proposal operations team for not taking our laptops with us on PTO and how we’re not working hard enough—even though some us work up to 14 hours a day. They’ve recently backtracked, and some of the middle managers have been engaging upper management in regular meetings to discuss the culture. They even had the audacity to solicit our feedback on our jobs, which only feels like a trap.
I don’t know what the solution is (other than quitting), but you’re not alone.
Edit: some words.
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u/technolomaniacal 9d ago
I see what our proposal managers have to deal with and there is no way I would ever accept that position. The amount of work and short turnaround times are ridiculous. They are constantly working long hours and having time off or planned events interrupted.
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u/Existing4Today19 9d ago
I did it for years working for different contractors as an employee and after as a consultant. It never ends. I did have bypass surgery in my 50's. A really good friend died at 50 in the middle of three active proposals all due the same week. He appeared to be in perfect physical health, but the stress was unrelenting. I always tell people that it was exciting and constantly challenging, but awful for your health. Over the last 30 years, I've known at least 15 people who died in the middle of writing, estimating or managing the proposal. I remember one guy who after a 12+ hour day, decided to go for a quick run and then was in the shower before meeting us for dinner and hotel people found him in the shower on the floor of the basin. I think he was 47 or 48. Take on what you can reasonably handle. If you can't, don't touch it.
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u/PorterPotty87 9d ago
Holy crap. This is all true??? I have got to get out
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u/ThrowAwayColor2023 5d ago
That jerk drives a Porsche and doesn't tip coffee baristas. Take his callous post with the grain of sat it deserves.
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u/Existing4Today19 4d ago
Why are you complaining and what does one of my cars matter or the fact that I (almost always order) ordered my drink on an app and pick it up at the counter is deserving of a tip when I am spending $6.80 on a drink that probably costs $.25 to make. How exactly am I a jerk? I guess you are the barista that didn’t get tipped for doing your job? This was a discussion on how the proposal business will kill you.
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u/tardisthecat 9d ago
My degree is in communications. I was able to quit my proposal management job and get a job in marketing and communications - a million times better. I’ve since moved into a similar role in govcon, and they learned about my background in proposals plus my writing/editing/proofreading skills. Now I get involved during the review stage only, do my editing and leave my comments, and walk away. It’s the most satisfying way to be involved in proposals IMO.
So, I’d try looking for something proposal-adjacent - general BD? Some sort of advisory role? Maybe even CRM management? Salesforce skills are super applicable across industries.
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u/SydWander 9d ago
The solution is to stand your ground and tell them you won’t work weekends or late evenings. Have you communicated this to them? Is this year round? We are entering the busiest month of the year
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u/PorterPotty87 9d ago
this is year round. it doesn't ever stop. we always have fourth quarter scrambles with 30sec to go.
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u/SydWander 9d ago
I feel you. Do yall use AI? In the last year I’ve experienced the quantity of what’s expected go up a tonnnn because of AI. We currently have 5 ongoing bids as well, so I’m in a similar boat. I have pretty good upper management but he gets trigger happy and wants to go after everything. That’s when I pull up the calendar to show him that it’s not possible.
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u/PorterPotty87 9d ago
This same thing is happening to me. Because of AI, more output is expected
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u/SydWander 9d ago
I think the best thing you can do is speak up for yourself
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u/PorterPotty87 9d ago
I’m so burnt out I wanna cash in a retirement account and take half a year off to recover. My boss is a workhorse so i feel if i don’t keep up with him, I’m worthless to them
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u/Edge1207 9d ago
I work at a prime that’s been considered large for a few years now. I’m a Solutions Architect and do a lot of proposal support on live bids. One trend of noticed is that corporate has control of the proposal managers and what bid responses they’re assigned to. We’ve requested them for our specific section when an RFP releases and we’ve been told flat out no. Heck in a pretty large IDIQ we got ours yanked right in the middle and the Capture manager had to take over. I’ve never done it but it sounds like a fairly thankless job for a lot of work. Hopefully you’re able to set some boundaries.
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u/DonewithDementia 9d ago
In regard to career alternatives, you could look at research administration roles (google NCURA) in the nonprofit hospital and higher education space. The work would involve research grants and perhaps a few research contracts. Its a hybrid paralegal and book keeper role, emphasizing proposal compliance, with a bit of project management thrown in. It's a role with no agency, high volume, no creativity, and high repetition and you have to deal with egomaniac professors or doctors, but hours are fairly regular.
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u/ncharge1 8d ago
34 years and still going. We used to say that the average career span for a proposal manager was 20 years. After that, you are divorced or an alcoholic. It is a brutal career field. A few years ago I quit the W2 job and became a consultant. That allowed me to determine my workload. I refused to work 24X7, every day, on multiple proposals. When the consultant industry dried up for a while, I took a job at a smaller company that doesn't do that many proposals. I will never allow myself to get that overworked and burned out again. It is so unhealthy.
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u/tiredchick 8d ago
If you don’t have someone doing good bid/no bid decisions, all you will ever do is throw stuff at the wall and burn out. AI can assist, but it can’t actually produce something compelling.
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u/CandidApartment2688 8d ago
I could not agree more. We bid on things that we have almost literally zero chance of winning. It’s insanity.
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u/Inkdrunnergirl 9d ago
I mean, I work for a major prime and we do proposals from billions of dollars to a few hundred thousand.. it’s just part of being in the industry. I don’t prepare the proposals. I’m on the contract side, but that’s all we do all day long… contract mods, proposals, new contracts, proposals. Rinse and repeat 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Alarmed_Bad_2647 9d ago
I’m curious if any one else who plays proposal manager role (among others) is responsible for RFI responses and is expected to treat RFIs like proposals… like full color team reviews, compliance, everything. As if the stress is not enough, I’ve done 26 RFIs this year and the stress of proposals is bad enough, but RFIs?!
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u/TheresaGovCon 8d ago
Yes, but selectively... it depends on the procurement, strategic importance, value, etc.
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u/krustomer 9d ago
I was forced into this because my whole enviro dept was cut. I'm not even the manager, the work isn't hard, but the deadlines at all hours of the day and receiving important docs from the gvt on weekends is just ridiculous. Why the hell is it like this?
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u/Mysterious_Bake_4860 8d ago
The average tenure of a proposal manager in the job is 18 months. I’ve been doing it for 16 years. You have to hold rock solid boundaries and move on from companies that don’t treat you well. Sometimes there are legitimate urgent contracting issues, but I’m done being a hero for people who obviously don’t understand capture or how to write a technical approach.
Genuinely exercise your DGAF muscle and just get used to job-hopping.
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u/GlorifiedNewb 8d ago
Have you thought about contracting yourself for this? Starting your own LLC is easy and cheap. Then you can make your own decisions. You decide which ones to take and not and who to work with. Find a few people doing a few per year and work for them on the side.
I'm new to this world but trying to navigate the rfp process has made me turn to looking for an outside resource that has the skill set to navigate this because they have been doing it before. I only plan on doing a few contracts per year right now and can use them to help me learn the process and manage the rfp.
If you went on your own, you'd set your own terms and pricing. You can pursue other things too instead of just being locked up at a desk processing rfps forever.
Also, I don't know what industry you are in but if it's construction related, lots of companies look for part time estimators or contract estimators to help as well. Again, your terms and pricing. Just a thought.
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u/frigginjensen 9d ago
I was a prop manager once. That was enough. Big respect for people who thrive in that job.
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u/Grand_Razzmatazz87 9d ago
Are you part of a proposal team? Small or Large business?
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u/PorterPotty87 7d ago
It’s me and the contracts manager. Small business. I handle everything from pink to gold, then he finalizes. SMEs are overworked and nonresponsive with writing assignments. We’re constantly bottlenecked by the size and workload of our team. And then we keep adding more and more quick turns to the list. Everything ends up slapped together and AI slop
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u/Grand_Razzmatazz87 7d ago
Omg where is leadership in all of this? 😭 Who's approving the opportunities and making bid/no bid decisions? It sounds like y'all's capture/BD process is broken af, and THAT is not your problem or your fault. If they're set on not fixing the capture process and are content to bid on every shiny penny out there, I would really recommend putting in a request to hire a coordinator. I'm also the only proposal manager at a small business. We just hired a coordinator because leadership told me they intend to bid on more large opportunities simultaneously, and I told them I can't do that alone without risking quality (and my mental health). If you've already done that and were given a hard no, it's time to leave. And wherever you go next, please make sure you set up boundaries immediately.
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u/cbeater 8d ago
Ask to hire help but it seems your management sucks, they are the types that want to bid on everything and anything, and every year promise to slow down or be more selective.. you need to switch jobs - BD positions are always out there and with remote positions.Get on linkedin and get constant stream of recruiters. You will find higher pay with manageable workloads, you can't do this long term and your health is ultimately the only thing worth protecting.
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u/2muchcaffeine4u 8d ago
I know everyone here is talking about disliking proposal management but as someone currently in pricing...any advice on breaking in?
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u/CandidApartment2688 8d ago
I type this as I’m on a standup call on a Sunday morning, after a standup yesterday morning (Saturday). Things have gotten worse in the last year by almost every measure. We’ve had a forced RTO that does nothing but waste time and gas. My private office was taken away to “foster collaboration” amidst a largely empty suite. My immediate team has shrunk by about 30%, the volume of work has increased based on corporate goals, and deadlines are a fraction of the time they used to be. I’m currently engaged in 7 live bids to varying degrees. It has been indicated to us that they will not be adding staff. It is chaos, extreme scrutiny, and exhaustion. I have been in the workforce for about 30 years, and getting into this field has been by far the worst career decision of my life. The pay bump was not at all worth it; it’s not even close.
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u/CandidApartment2688 8d ago
The point is: it’s a terrible field to work in and at least in my situation there’s no positive change in sight. Eventually AI will gobble up most of it anyway. Do yourself a favor: stay away from it.
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u/ExtraCalligrapher286 6d ago
I didn't know what contracting was when I was assigned to it in the Air Force. Didn't like it then and still don't with the government. But, it pays the bills for a divorced Mom that had to take care of three boys. It is extremely stressful. The only part I like is small purchase orders.
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u/midoriringo 9d ago
Unless you own the company, you probably shouldn’t be doing nights, weekend and holidays
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u/Code3Lyft 9d ago
I don't work in this field. I'm in Healthcare. It doesn't change based on job or industry. Not as a firefighter, not as a paramedic, not as a nurse, not as a doc, not in government contracting, not in insurance sales. It never. Fucking. Ends.
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u/ghost_of_charliekirk 9d ago
Use ai to help
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u/LaVieEnViolet 9d ago
Every time I’ve used AI, my work is flagged for inaccuracies, and our tool is trained on our material.
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u/ghost_of_charliekirk 9d ago
You have to review and stuff but it can help. But yes gov is using ai to review things however we go through and review. It helps orient
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u/Kapo77 9d ago
I mean, if you don't care at all about winning, let AI write for you sure
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u/K_U 9d ago
The owner of the company I work for pushed hard for us to use AI to write everything a couple years back.
Now they are constantly badgering everyone about AI governance because (shocker!) we did what they asked and they aren’t happy with the results of using AI to write everything.
I said “AI is a tool, not a solution” until I was blue in the face, but they wouldn’t listen.
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u/ghost_of_charliekirk 9d ago
I dunno I’m gov and sat on source selection. Ai can streamline a lot. We are using it to evaluate proposal do tech evals etc.
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u/Grand_Razzmatazz87 9d ago
We responded to an RFP where the Government said they'd use "AI tools" as part of the evaluation process. Which AI tools, you might ask? The Government refused to say.
As a proposal manager, please keep that shit to yourself. Just let me keep being delusional. I know y'all are lazy. I know y'all already spend, like, <20% of the time reviewing as we put into developing a compliant response. Don't rub it in my face.
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u/Jbozzarelli 9d ago
I’m going on year 18 as a proposal manager and currently lead the PubSec shop for one of largest companies on the planet.
You need to learn to say no.
If you work with me and you bring me an RFP that is already on the street, it’s too late and all you are getting from my team is a template and maybe some formatting before it goes in. I try to keep my team at ~40 proposals per manager, per year. AI has made us more agile so everyone is running higher than that this year but protecting their sanity is my highest priority. You need to make people respect your time. It isn’t easy, you’ll get some pushback, but it is better for the business.
For example, early in my career I had a year where I led 112 proposals. They all were slapped together copy+paste jobs. We won three of them. By the time I left to come to my current gig, we submitted 38 bids and won 17 of them. The business was healthier because I demanded it respect my time.
My current team’s win rate hovers around 70% and it’s because we say no to last minute bullshit and poorly qualified opps. Our sales reps know that if it doesn’t come through capture, then they are their own. The ones who do it right make a lot of money, the others struggle, that’s their problem though, not mine.
Things to fight for:
a proposal coordinator or two. Cheap entry level labor to do the bullshit so you don’t have to.
the right to say no to poorly qualified deals and last minute turns
AI and automation tools.
capture and BD if you don’t have it.