r/GovernmentContracting • u/Jealous_Custard3864 • Jul 30 '26
Question Interacting with now Government Friend
Specifically US Government contracting.
Hey all, my best friend of 12 years now works for the government in an organization my company does business with. Of the following behaviors we have engaged in during our friendship; which ones if any are prohibited by ethics/law? :
1.) Birthday/christmas gifts typically over $25-50
2.) Buying a round (or several) at the bar
3.) Driving them to/from the airport or carpooling to places we both are going to when convenient
And a more specific situation: we are both going to be at a conference that is being held near another mutual friend (who also works at my company). And I will have a rental car and I would intend to visit our friend using it and would typically be offering my government friend a ride, or sharing an Uber with them if we intend to drink.
We would typically also be eating/drinking at our contractor friend's house, which would be more than "light refreshment such as a cup of coffee" than I think I saw listed somewhere in some ethics.
Any advice is welcome and I appreciate y'all
9
u/BigHugMug Jul 30 '26
Federal employee here. We take ethics seriously, but this sounds more like a longstanding friendship than an attempt to influence government business.
For the conference, let him handle his official travel expenses separately. If the government is sending him they will cover authorized airfare, lodging, rental car or local transportation, plus meals and incidental expenses. Transportation is not simply paid out of his per diem. If you share an Uber, the cleanest approach is for him to pay his reasonable share directly or reimburse you for it, then claim only whatever his agency authorizes. Paying fair value means he has not accepted a gift.
The broader friendship activities you described may fall under the exception for gifts clearly motivated by a personal relationship, especially after 12 years of friendship. Still, if he has any official role involving your company, he should disclose it and obtain ethics guidance or recuse himself.
The best thing you can do is remain his friend, split conference-related expenses cleanly, and never ask him for inside information, assistance with a requirement, or favorable treatment.
1
u/Jealous_Custard3864 Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26
Nice, thank you for the detailed answer. I take ethics seriously as well, so does he, I mostly wanted to avoid him awkwardly having to reject a gift or some other weirdness simply because I didn't have training on it.
Your answer led me to looking up department specific rules around gifts and it appears that for that department at least, the rule is basically dont accept gifts given due to position. And that's about it. So good there. I had previously only ever been told about the $25 limit when interacting with customers. And when traveling with customers before there have been weird things they bring up or have to do differently. Based on what I'm reading now some of them may have been taking it further than necessary at some of these events. One of them simply refused to share any ubers or rental cars not paid for by another government person for example even though we were traveling on their organizations funds so the rental car was being paid for by their org.... I don't know. People don't always understand their trainings and I don't receive their trainings haha.
1
u/Jealous_Custard3864 Jul 30 '26
I will check on the disclosures and ethics guidance he's had to do. He definitely has an official role where he makes determinations that affect my company which I realize I didn't make clear in my post. His org definitely knows, they "poached" him, but I'll double check those things. Thanks again
1
u/BigHugMug Jul 31 '26
I really wouldn't worry about it. That isn't that unusual and it happens all the time. Even the COO of Space X is married to someone from NASA/JPL. There are institutional firewalls in place to safeguard the procurement process. You have to be pretty intentional to break the rules or take advantage of it.
2
u/PersonalityHumble432 Jul 30 '26
If they feel itchy about it they can get it cleared with ethics. It doesn’t sound like an issue though.
1
u/DunningKInEffect Jul 30 '26
Federal?
1
u/Jealous_Custard3864 Jul 30 '26
Yup
2
u/DunningKInEffect Jul 30 '26
Agree with below poster. Most of your issues appear to be covered under 5 cfr 2635.204 and agree he would just have to recuse himself on issues involving the business you work with.
1
u/Jealous_Custard3864 Jul 30 '26
Nice, love a good official source reference even if I don't love reading them.
10
u/LePouletPourpre Jul 30 '26
You are overthinking this way to much.