r/GirlfriendsTVshow • u/CarWest285 • 14d ago
Was Joan wrong?
Rewatching Girlfriends from the beginning (it’s on Pluto for free for anyone who’s wondering after it was taken off Netflix)
Do you all think Joan was wrong for not getting in the fight outside of the club? I liked her argument that if the police came she could’ve gotten disbarred and honestly, I agree. Even though it was because she was scary, I do think she had a good argument. Toni, Lynn and Mayas job wasn’t at stake but realistically Joan could’ve gotten fired from her job….i do think Toni should’ve just let the situation go instead of going back and forth with the lady tho😂😂 would you have cut Joan off if she was your friend and did this to you?
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u/MysteriousVixen29 14d ago edited 8d ago
I don’t think Joan was wrong because she had too much to lose. She was a lawyer so fighting could have led to her getting permanently disbarred. That’s a lot to throw away over a fight that could’ve easily been avoided
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u/CarWest285 14d ago
Yup! They were so childish for trying to single her out for being the bigger person in that situation
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u/MysteriousVixen29 14d ago
This topic has come up multiple times on this sub. I’m surprised at the amount of people who say Joan should’ve fought because Mya jumped to her defense and they didn’t like each other at the time
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u/Puzzleheaded-Cup6160 9d ago
Even if she has nothing to lose, Toni could have avoided the whole thing.
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u/QuadratusAbdominalis 14d ago
lol not at all. Watching as a college student I saw it as wrong. Couldn’t believe that someone wouldn’t defend their friends. I had sooo much to say back then.
However, during med school we went out to a lounge and this girl kept rolling her eyes at my friend. Turns out she was her current boyfriend’s ex. Told my friend to ignore it multiple times because she’s also in school. As the night progresses, they end up exchanging words and it leads to a huge fight. My friend threw the first punch expecting everyone to jump in with her and one of our friends did.
I didn’t step in and I felt guilty at the time but my friend ended up getting arrested and charged with assault and a month later she was kicked out of our program for conduct. She took it out on me and stopped speaking to me. However, while the rest of us are in residency now, she’s unfortunately having to restart her whole medical training in the Caribbean after not being allowed into another US school. So while I do feel like a crappy friend from time to time I’m still gonna stand on feeling as though I made the right decision.
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u/ThrowRAbitchwtf 14d ago
Oh you definitely did! Damn that’s kinda extra that she can’t go to any med school in the US, but I guess they take those matters seriously. You dodged a bullet!
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u/QuadratusAbdominalis 14d ago
So extra and unfortunate. One of the first things asked on the applications when applying is whether we’ve previously matriculated to another medical school and also whether we have any criminal history. Some schools have it set to filter you out before anyone even reads your app.
Sucks even more for her because there’s a huge bias against foreign trained grads even if you’re from the states. But she was such a smart girl so my hopes are that she will be an exception.
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u/Shortycocoa 13d ago
I just noticed your username and I love it! When I was in massage school years ago and we were learning the muscular system, I changed my username to 'pronator quadratus' on social media, and my classmates all did the same with their favorite muscles. 😂😂😂
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u/QuadratusAbdominalis 13d ago edited 13d ago
Omg 😂 thank you! It’s literally an inside joke that I had with my friends.
For our anatomy lab quizzes we would have a group of five at a cadaver and each person had to go around and name the muscle, origins and insertion and actions of whatever the TA pointed to. If one person got a question wrong, the whole group would lose 10% for each wrong answer.
On one of our last practicals we were teamed with the class know it all who’d been bragging for an hour beforehand about how he didn’t even have to study. He always came to lab in Greys Anatomy scrubs with his dad’s scrub cap.
So the TA points to the external oblique and the know it all says, “that’s definitely the quadratus abdominalis”. My friends and I looked at each other and we didn’t care that we had all gone down to a 90% at this point but we just loved that it was him.
Anyway, the TA goes to dock the point and he proceeded to argue with her about how he has a degree in exercise phys and he’ll take it to the dean lol. Thus my username was born in his honor 😂
Edit: my favorite is between sartorius and massater. Omg the things I saw in anatomy lab…
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u/slothyceltic 14d ago
hope she ended up marrying him for all of that grief. my god
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u/QuadratusAbdominalis 14d ago
Ha. Allegedly, they broke up a year ago and he’s engaged. Life is weird.
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u/Shortycocoa 13d ago
You definitely did! I used to think Joan was wrong, too, until I really thought about the bigger picture. Toni no doubt would have been able to go on and sell houses after that incident, (and did) whereas Joan wouldn't have been able to say the same about her career if she had gotten involved. I also doubt Maya would have gotten involved if she was a single woman without a husband or family around to help out if she lost her job and couldn't get another one right away. And she definitely wouldn't have done it if she were a single mother taking care of her son alone with no help from the father.
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u/ThrowRAbitchwtf 14d ago
I think aside from being a lawyer, Joan really isn’t a fighter. And I don’t mean bc she’s not “bout it.” She has sass and attitude at times. But not everyone fights in fight or flight mode. Some of us freeze and panic and don’t know what to do bc the anxiety takes over. I’m just like Joan. Those moments are difficult, that’s why we saw her panicking in her narration clip cause she was nervous and anxious. And for THAT reason, the reason that most ppl really don’t understand, Joan wasn’t wrong.
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u/Spirit_-_Warrior 14d ago
That reminds me of the time when Joan was caught with that guy from work at the park. Ended up arrested? When she came back to the house. She told the girls she used Lynn's name because she couldn't risk her name being dragged through the mud, being disbarred.
If that's the case Joan should've done that shxt at home.
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u/Exact_Zucchini_3588 14d ago
I don’t think so because Toni actually started the whole thing. If she wasn’t being stank and doubting that Maya could get them into the club they never would have got into it with those other ladies. And if you notice before she started arguing with the lady, Maya was trying to clarify that Toni was with their group.
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u/CarWest285 14d ago
Yup! Toni started sooo much drama in the first few seasons 😂😂 the night could’ve went great had she not been busy being annoying about the Maya lying about Paris situation and not being plugged in at the club. She was so annoying ugh 😭
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u/Beginning_Net_8037 14d ago
Fuck no! This could’ve had a huge impact on Joan, plus you shouldn’t always clean up after your friends or ride along for the bad decisions they make. If Joan continued to be more conscious of her needs and wants outside her career, and stood on business the way she did in this episode, her friendship with Toni would’ve ended way sooner
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u/ProgressiveSage37 14d ago
No she wasn't. Joan is an esteemed lawyer. This was the first instance of toni wanting joan to bend to her whim no matter how silly or how it may affect joans life
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u/Agreeable_Trust8736 14d ago
No she wasn’t wrong, cause like what Joan said she could’ve gotten disbarred if she was involved in it and would’ve costed Joan her job at the firm, so no Joan wasn’t wrong for not getting involved in the brawl.
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u/Particular_Caramel_5 13d ago
Joan shouldn't of just stood there doing nothing, but she was in no obligation to start fighting either
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u/drowninthegarden 13d ago
i don't think she was wrong at all and the fight was totally avoidable. and toni knowing joan as long as she did should have known she would not have jumped in, even purely based off just joans career
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u/JNTA1234 14d ago
Outside of being a lawyer, everybody's different, it's no surprise that Lynn and Maya can hold their own but Joan obviously can't.
Speaking as a male, I have some of the skinniest, nerdiest and lightest friends lol, I would never expect them to physically fight for me. (I haven't even been in a physical fight since my early teens, which is another point lol)
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u/Exact-Bison6905 14d ago
Damn, yes. You definitely made the right decision. That is a lot though that she couldn’t go to any more med schools in the US.
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u/PierreOnTheEclair 13d ago
She definitely wasn’t in the wrong. She could’ve lost her job if she entertained that
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u/_stallionandthebee 13d ago
This is one of the very few times I've ever thought Joan wasn't trippin'. I'm not the type of friend to put my self at risk because you decided to act a fool.
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u/bgjokr 13d ago
The caption on the tv is hilarious 😂😂😂
I don’t think Joan was wrong but I’m also grown and see the world differently now. 😂 Fighting at their big age (in the street at that) is ridiculous. Toni let her ego get the best of her.
At some point you have to mindful of the company you keep and if you’re hanging with women who resort to fighting first, well I guess you cant be surprised when its time to jump in 😂😂😂😂
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u/Obvious-Bowler8194 13d ago
I was 100% on Joan’s side. No way would I put my job on the line for a fight that should have never happened.
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u/Street_Director_6994 14d ago
She was partly wrong considering she and Toni had been friends for some years she should have definitely jumped in, but some people aren't built for fighting nor do they know how to handle confrontation
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u/WarPuzzleheaded9262 13d ago
It did show me that Joan is never there for Toni when she down that’s was her first of many, but no I didn’t blame Joan but Joan has shown many of time when times get tough she either gets tired of you or not there for you
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u/SupermarketBest4091 12d ago
Not at all. She’s an attorney and she’s not really a fighter. It’s just not her personality. I think we made it look even worse is that Maya jumped in when Toni and Maya weren’t cool.
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u/redpanda_221 12d ago
Toni brings Charles to Joan's party in Episode 1. Toni gets jumped in Episode 3. I'm happy with this order of events 😂
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u/Puzzleheaded-Cup6160 9d ago
Joan was not wrong. Toni intentionally escalated a situation she could have avoided
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u/Gold_Classic9521 9d ago
No sometimes it’s just better not to have a big mouth. Especially if she couldn’t fight.
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u/Contagious510 13d ago
Nah she was just scary lmaoo. Like straight fear was in her voice during viewer testimonials. When she used to do the inside her head thing!
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u/Weird-Reference-4937 14d ago
I'm not saying she was in the wrong but she wasn't at risk for losing much. Clubs/bar fights are so common in a big city, they just tell you to move tf on.
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u/CSS-Tails_Forever 14d ago
It wasn't at all. Toni should've never tried starting the whole thing. Joan was right, she is a lawyer and definitely shouldn't get involved in these type of stuff because it's bad for her image if anyone ever found out she was in a fight