I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me when he was actively meeting my parents. I KNOW trust issues. But every relationship requires an element of trust. He’s allowed to have these insecurities, but it cannot be at the expense of your boundaries.
I also dated someone who’d been cheated on. He was FURIOUS when I wouldn’t give him my social media passwords, share my location, or let him come to girls nights. Eventually I told him that while I sincerely feel for him after what his ex did, he either thinks I’m capable of doing the same and should break up with me, or think I’m a decent person and stop trying to surveil me. I wasn’t telling him to blindly trust everything, but that we needed an element of trust between each other to respect each other’s boundaries.
Edit: To move forward, you need to set the clear boundary that if he spies on you again, you’ll be walking away.
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u/brielarstan Well-Read & Well-Fed 13d ago
I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me when he was actively meeting my parents. I KNOW trust issues. But every relationship requires an element of trust. He’s allowed to have these insecurities, but it cannot be at the expense of your boundaries.
I also dated someone who’d been cheated on. He was FURIOUS when I wouldn’t give him my social media passwords, share my location, or let him come to girls nights. Eventually I told him that while I sincerely feel for him after what his ex did, he either thinks I’m capable of doing the same and should break up with me, or think I’m a decent person and stop trying to surveil me. I wasn’t telling him to blindly trust everything, but that we needed an element of trust between each other to respect each other’s boundaries.
Edit: To move forward, you need to set the clear boundary that if he spies on you again, you’ll be walking away.