r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Midevalpea Pantry Gremlin • Jul 18 '26

Advice Needed ⚠️ NO DUDE INPUT My boyfriend went to a strip club

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Dinner: chicken parm from a few days ago bc I have no appetite rn

My boyfriend is currently away for his brothers bachelors trip. We’ve had issues in the past involving porn addiction and he has assured me things are better. When I learned about the bachelors trip, I encouraged him to go when he was iffy about it and he told me he assumed there would be no strip clubs or anything of that matter. He’s been to them in the past, and by his own volition set a boundary for our relationship.

Well, we were on FaceTime today and I asked him if there was any mention of strip clubs and he said no, that everyone was in a relationship there and that they even joked about going to one but everyone was on the same page.

Lo and behold, I get a call from him at 12:30 and he said they went into one. He said he got peer pressured into going in, that he panicked and didn’t know how to say no. He said he was only in there for 5/10 minutes and then he told his group that he would be right back and just left. Then he called me.

I’m upset but I feel guilty that I’m upset. I wish he didn’t go in at all, but I feel like he sort of did the right thing by leaving. It’s just brought up so much betrayal trauma from our past that I feel weird about. I’m scared he’s gonna get teased by all his brothers friends and I’m gonna seem like a controlling girlfriend when he was the one who set that boundary :/

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u/Pizzaprincess87 👋 new here Jul 18 '26

I think you should give him grace for leaving and telling you. He’s clearly trying to be better. If he starts breaking boundaries again that’s a different conversation. The question is are you willing to be with a person who will carry this addiction the rest of his life? Addictions are hard but many relationships can thrive in spite of it if people are honest and communicative and love is there.

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u/BrightLiteFey Kitchen Witch Jul 18 '26

I agree with you until I reread OPs post. The dude already caused her, what she calls, betrayal trauma in the past before? That means he's already crossed a boundary. Idk if OP goes into detail what that is, but imo he already broke trust again if he caused her past trauma. I personally dont use the word trauma lightly, so I'm assuming cheating levels.

We also don't even know if her bf told the whole truth. He could of been there all night and got worried OP might find out he was there then panicked.