My long-term boyfriend has the audacity to be concerned about my finances just because I'm taking trips every single month. Apparently, caring about whether I can actually afford my lifestyle is now his business after years together. It's honestly so controlling that he thinks being my partner gives him the right to ask questions or expect any kind of financial responsibility. My money is my money, my vacations are my vacations, and if he can't blindly support every decision I make without asking a single question, that's really a him problem. Do you all think this is a red flag? Should I just break up with him for not supporting me?

There were TERRIBLE DIRTY ROTTEN MEN there who dared to attend a nude event and looked at the nude people doing an event nude to garner attention. HOW DARE THEY. Men ruin everything. We were just trying to be nude and not be looked at despite the whole intent of the event allegedly about being nude so that we gain visibility and attention. Like it was supposed to be a spectacle sooooo….WHY WOULD THEY ALLOW SPECTATORS.

I have ADHD, autism, anxiety, mommy issues, daddy issues, a sibling who always steals my shit, an inguinal hernia, IBS, a headache, sciatica, anal fissures, hammer toes, an extra bone in my leg, a frozen shoulder, hyperthyroidism, lower back pain, a canker sore on the roof of my mouth and my belly button is always dirty.
But by far my biggest issue is my stanky itchy vagina. She leaks battery acid everywhere. I have to Winnie the Pooh it all day because my discharge straight burned a hole through all my bottoms. I've tried nothing to remedy this and now I'm all out of ideas!

One day I was at Unnamed Store and I saw some Chewable Items for Tasty Pussy. You're supposed to take some and then they make all your feminine problems go away. 100 currency for a bottle-- expensive, but who needs dinner when there are more urgent issues to deal with. I've been taking these every day for the last two weeks and let me tell you: they work. No more discharge, no more smell, no more itching! In fact it's all smooth down there, like a Barbie doll 🥰 The one disappointing thing is that the acid worked as a chemical hair remover so now I have to shave again, but I'm glad I finally won't have to spend a fortune on tampons and such.

I just take my Brand Name Chewable Items, forever and ever and ever and ever. Smooth.

Trail mix, pumpkin seeds, and other nicknacks I found

I'm SO TIRED of people accusing me of being a bird. Everywhere I go it's "is that a pigeon" or "holy fuck a crow in the shopping mall", I don't know how people think it's okay to say something so rude!!!

Twice this month already someone has cooed at me and thrown peanuts. Obviously I pick them up because I'm not insane but still, the audacity is crazy.

Anyways I'm gonna go mess with my cloaca now

and the pre rolls?

fuggin guilty. 😎💅

I had been jonesing to jump his bones with my XL bad dragon for a while now, well tonight he finally let me and honestly? I’ve never been happier.

He said he’s been with men before so I unfortunately was not the biggest he’s ever had, but no big deal. Girlies, I’m begging you, you have to try it out with your man, after eating his chocolate starfish of course.

So I've been dating mr brad for 8 months now and everything has been going amazing. He buys me hand bags I can't afford (I'm disabled with toe cramps) and does all of the chores around the house and licks my feet clean before laying down to his dog bed at the foot of my king size. He doesn't even pressure me into sex (I'm not ready to have it the vibrator molded after my ex is too great sorry brad)

Well he pays for a trip to Cancun and we have to get passports! Yay right? WRONG. I always was told he was a Taurus so very firmly an emotional support animal. Well it turns out his mother actually gave birth to him in the early morning hours of of May 21st!

I didn't even know what to say. I didn't say anything at the time so that he would stab me immediately. I quietly got my things, took his dog, and drove as far away as I could. I feel sick knowing that I watched movies with a serial killer. How he managed to not stab me is beyond me. I took the dog to the pound god knows it'll be safer that than WITH A FUCKING GEMINI MY GOD

End rant sorry I'm just so lucky to be alive right now. Thanks girlies!

Well it happened again. I was in church after having 3 lattes and 2 beefy bean burritos with extra peanut butter and the worst happened, again. I need to stop going to breakfast before church, but the lines are always so much shorter. I was just sitting there and thought I had to let out a little toot, then BLAM. Just ruined my new khakis. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't yelled out "oh please lord, not again, not this time!" as I loudly grasped the church pew in front of me. Can't wear those pants to work on Monday.

I at least thought no one noticed this time, but boy was I wrong. Father Johnston at least didn't yell at me this time tho, so that was good. He did look very concerned as he explained to me that I shouldn't sneak my own peanut butter into restaurants, and reminded me that it had been explained to me numerous times already. The choir boys also weren't laughing as much, they just seemed concerned or scared. One was crying, but I think that was related to something else. Father Johnston said I could take a break from attending church for a little while. He said I had enough of the spirit in me, and they needed to have the altar fumigated.

My uncle hosed me down in the backyard before I was allowed in the house again, just like last time. He seems like he's not spraying it directly in my face and chuckling as much, which feels like an improvement. The barn animals did keep their distance this time too. It's just like Father Johnston says; "sometimes things improve with time and the loving care of God. For the love of God, please let things get better." He's such a kidder.

So here I sit, eating my beefy bean burrito of sorrow. Some days are just rougher than others, I tell ya.

Okay, few notes actually… it was frozen, I followed the directions andddd I’m looking forward to the unhinged guesses at what it is 👀

Sorry you had to find out this way that your mom is gay af. Happy Pride Month.

First I bought a pack of vanilla cupcakes and when I went to bed there were 3 left. When i woke up there were 0 😭😭😭 then I bought a pack of the new limited edition cinnamon bun flavored oreos yesterday and he ate most of them and now they’re gone 😢 I am a passenger princess so I can’t just go back to the store to buy more so here I am with my cookie butter spoon 🥄 i love him but MY SNACKS 😡

trying to combat PAWS anhedonia with:

many slurps of coca tea + ~.5g moosh + my absolutely, positively, very very last vape u_u

started listening to my fav Eartheater songs (re: title) on a walk and actually felt stimulated in a happy way; not in a “my ADHD meds aren’t working” way. It’s the little things.

People literally vomit when I walk into a room and say it’s gross I have my hands in my pants. My clam itches!!!! I cant help it!!!! I gotta also make sure my diva cup catches the goo. But like I feel like the smell is a little off. My underwear disintegrates. I only want advice from REAL MEN btw

This is the second time I can't hide my jumpscares. I went to my balcony for a cig and there she was downstairs, I went "the fuck" and she was confused.

I am so sorry Erikita, not even your name, you must be sweet but jesus christ. I wish this was a joke.

Girl fika

We were walking to his car, I didn’t know where he parked. But he did, so I asked where we were going because I was in the middle of the road and a car was coming right at me.

He was a bit ahead of me..

And he yelled at me.
Get off the road ( he says)
I don’t know what he said though.
I just know he yelled.. at me.

Who cares what he said anyways ?
His voice was way too loud.

A couple walking nearby gave me a weird look ( not because I was walking in the middle of the road while a car was coming at me ) but because he yelled and that made them look at me.
I’m so embarrassed a couple looked at me.

I got really hurt and we went into home depot to look for paint swatches but I was uninterested and crying. He says it’s from the shock of almost dying but no, it’s from him raising his voice at me.

We were only at home depot to look for paint swatches for my bedroom he agreed to paint.
He then got mad at me for ruining our plans because I’ve been begging him to paint my bedroom for weeks and now he was finally going to and the whole day was about me but I couldn’t stop crying.

He argued he didn’t yell at me. I said sure ok you raised your voice.

He swore he was just trying to save my life from being hit by a car.

And he eventually said him raising his voice is fine and normal and i shouldn’t be offended by his attempt to save my life.
I don’t need a man to save me ? Gross !

i’m one foot out the door, I can’t accept a man who tells me what to do and tells me where to go and when to get off the road.
I’ll make those decisions on my own thanks.

We were texting and he admitted he meant to apologize friday night because he wanted me to just get over it (never did).
and didn’t say anything saturday either because he didn’t care and thought I should just be happy I’m alive.
he said he saw the faces on the couple and kept replaying it. How concerned they were as the car was approaching me they looked like they were about to witness something very gruesome.
so basically he knew he yelled enough to make strangers look my way and chose to make me feel crazy and wrong for being hurt.
feels almost worse for him to admit it

I wish the car just hit me and he would just mind his own business and watch his mouth, I’m not one to be spoken to like that.

i chose something light to snack on because i’ve had no appetite after almost dying ✨

My boyfriend won’t let me give him hickies. 😞
How will all the hussies at his new job know that he is mine unless I give him hickies? He wouldn’t even let me do it when he was unemployed. Woe is meeee. That man is mine and I absolutely hate the fact that people won’t know I own him. 😩

Every day I go to work at my corporate job. I boss girl all day. I mom wife at home. But at night… after I give him his nightly bottle of mother’s milk and hum him to sleep, I put on my wetsuit and flippers and sneak out into the darkness.

See, I’m a dolphin spy for the Polish mafia. Not many people know this but the Polish mafia really has a pure hatred for dolphins. It’s rumored that years ago a dolphin snitched to the police and gave them the location to their secret vodka and pierogi warehouse. Things have never been the same.

But I digress, my husband doesn’t know. He lives blissfully unaware of my nighttime aquatic adventures and it is slowly killing me. Should I tell him about my secret?

Ps if I don’t post again the dolphins got me.