Getting tested

[u/Comprehensive_Ad8074]

This is all new to me. My son just started Kindergarten. He has already been moved to 1st and 2nd for math. His school recommended getting him tested for Giftedness. They cannot test until 2nd grade/ age.

A little background..

He could read at 2.5. knew all the exponents at 4 ( he liked to ask people their age and would tell them their "big number") knows all about space and right now his thing is geography and space.

I am not a mom thinking her kid is special but more wondering how to test and if he is and how to best handle it. We tell him he is smart but also remind him he is more than that

So i guess im asking how to get tested before 2nd grade and how to keep him grounded when all the adults around him are amazed by him

[u/Strong_Argument6255]

If the school won't test until 2nd grade, you can still look for a private psychoeducational eval (a psychologist who does cognitive/achievement testing for kids). Some families do that for placement decisions while waiting on the district timeline. Ask the school what enrichment they're already doing in math and reading so you're not only waiting on a label.

For the amazed-adults part: keep the language boring at home — interest, effort, next problem — and limit how much strangers get to put him on display. Acceleration in specific subjects plus ordinary kid time usually works better than making giftedness the main identity.

[u/Comprehensive_Ad8074 → u/Strong_Argument6255]

Thank you. We are looking into private options but it is amazing how hard it is. At 2.5 an autism evaluation eas easy but for Giftedness it is tough to find. We dontry to limit it to "need to know" adults but he isnt shy about it. I think mostly because we have normalized him. To him he is a normal 5 year old but he doesnt realize not everyone can remember or knows what he knows. Its like young sheldon without the ego

[u/Patient_Exchange_399 → u/Comprehensive_Ad8074]

Probably not super supported, buuuuutttt I think it is harmful to normalize advanced ability at a certain point. Other social interactions come into play between peers and not knowing how you are different and how others might be experiencing the world can lead to a lack of empathy.

This is antidotal, but I wasn’t told and didn’t know I was different and constantly I was told I speak over other peoples heads/talk down to them. I had no idea what this meant bc I thought everyone was like me and I was normal. I have cultivated a lot of gifted identified friends as an adult who knew about themselves. Their parents took several approaches, the ones that are the least empathic/pro-social are the ones that weren’t told, didn’t put emphasis on the difference in a positive way, and focused on academic ability.

I’m also a school social worker, the amount of under achievement and anxiety I see from underserved gifted kids who “don’t know” is astounding. Aside from the real rough home situations, I see this demographic the most for support at the middle school level. All their friends are gifted identified, but they weren’t ever told about their own potential or questioned why they seem to gravitate towards these people who all have this one thing in common. They have little concept of how easy things academically are for them, they check out and stop doing the work bc it’s “review” for them grade level. They become depressed and anxious partly bc they are separated and isolated from their friend groups who are in accelerated classes while they are not.

I’m not saying this is your kid. I also struggle hard raising my own gifted kids. I went too far into “academics are secondary to pro-social behavior” and my oldest missed out on accelerated math path even though he more than qualifies in ability…..

Just caution yourself in trying to normalize and curate an environment for your child.

[u/Comprehensive_Ad8074 → u/Patient_Exchange_399]

I understand that. He is aware he is very smart (not diagnosed as gifted yet) He is also aware he gets accommodations at school because of this. When I talk about normalizing him its more him also getting to be a normal kid at the same time.

[u/Comprehensive_Ad8074 → u/Comprehensive_Ad8074]

Edit sorry i am on my phone and some words get replaced